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"Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 05:38 AM (EST)
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"Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"

Isle of Lunacy - Francesca finds that even at Redemption Island we have rules. The MB manifesto says that you’re given basic supplies and a ration of rice each day, but must otherwise fend for yourself. Francesca hopes that she’s able to start a fire with her flint. Meanwhile, deep in the mountains of North Carolina, Jane is sitting in her trailer, stroking the Pit Bull in her lap and muttering, “Hopes she can start a fire? I could strike the flint off my ovaries and git a spark if’n I still had them.” Back in the dark, Francesca muses that being on Recycle Island might be good for her game. Like I said, she’s in the dark.

Shell Shocked - At Overtipping, Rob is still held in awe by his tribe and is literally carried into camp on the shoulders of Andrea, Ashley and Natalie. He seems to be encased in the same giant egg last used by Lady Gaga at the Grammys. (C’mon, it’s all CBS… we share a Prop Department.) As Rob steps out of the egg and tosses his keys to the valet, he remarks that that was one of the wildest Tribal Councils that he’s ever attended. That includes the “Tribal Council” Saturday nights at the Mariano household when Ambuh dresses up like Jeff Probst, but with cleavage. Of course Phillip responds with, “Wild? You haven’t even dipped a toe into the crazy swamp I’m capable of. And by the way, my liege, I pledge to you by the power of Zeus, the values that I hold dear and the completely nebulous title of Former Federal Agent that you own my vote until I go to Recycle Island. That is, unless the voices in my head change the channel or I lick that Bufo alvarius toad again.”

This causes Rob to confessionalize about Phillip’s mental health status and the dangers of stressful government jobs. His tongue is firmly in cheek, because by Boston standards you’re not entitled to any mental problems unless the Red Sox lose the Series. But Phillip is running around in droopy mauve Fruit of the Looms and referring to himself in the third person, so that’s two out of three lemons on the Looney Toons Slot Machine.

Phillip adds fool to the fire by keeping up a running dialogue as he hunts for crabs in the forest. Realizing that they didn’t spring for the “Remote Island DirecTV Package”, Matt MadLibs his own Phillip the Crustacean Hunter commentary to the delight of Rob and the others. Out of earshot, Captain Underpants has some success. “Killed with a stone, baby!” crows Phillip.

Don’t Eat the Yellow Ants – Over at Zappa, Rooster has a crow that should go pro, but Russell is unimpressed, saying that Ralph “may be the dumbest player to play Survivor.” In confession, Russell pulls out his turntables and spits his rap: “You seen me play before. You know what you seen? You seen me finding idols. That’s what you seen. That’s how I play this game.” Jay-Z feels a ripple in the Force, but shrugs it off.

Meanwhile, Rooster is carrying himself some rocks. Brushing ants off his arm, he happens to reach into a tree stump and find the Hidden Immunity Idol. “Hot doggie” indeed.

I/R Challenge: Welcome to Downtown Detroit, AKA: The Smash and Grab – Jiffy asks for the Immunity Idol from Rooster, who responds with “I’ll get it back”. Dr. Jiffy asks Phillip how this makes him feel. Phillip responds, “I’ll outlast any man over there.” When asked if that boast applies to the women too, Phillip has to ask one of his other personalities how to process a play on words. Overtipping is called for delay of game.

The challenge designers give the tribe members’ brains a rest this week. The challenge involves each person swimming out to a platform, smashing a tile and retrieving a key. Five keys, three locks, one ball, two turtledoves, five tiles, no puzzles and Zappa wins the challenge.

Matt steps over and congratulates Zappa on their win. This does not sit well with Rob who snarls, “I’m not going to give the other team hugs and kisses.”

Russell is a Dweezil - As Russell carries the fishing gear reward back to the Zappa camp, he manages to slip a clue out of the basket. Rooster sees the less-than-David Copperfield quality sleight of hand, and before you can say “Epilady”, he’s told Mike who storms in with him to confront Russell and Natalie. Russell blusters, accuses, denies and basically loses another couple of members of the Russell Hantz fan club.

Performing Phil-ratio – Back at Overtipping, Phillip calls the tribe together for a something that is becoming an Open Mic Night tradition. He tells everyone that they should be proud because they performed “gallantry-ly.” Rob would never be called a speech therapist, but he pulls Phillip aside and tries to provide some guidance. He tells Phillip that he should avoid a tirade at Tribal. Rob also explains that there are some things still up in the air. He will put his hand on the shoulder of the person to be voted out so Phillip knows what to do. Rob confessionalizes that it’s all about the ratio of what Phillip knows and when he knows it.

Tribal Tattoo – Discussing the earlier Immunity Challenge, Jeff brings out the animal in Phillip and is treated to a gun show at the zoo – a tattoo of a gorilla on one arm and a lion on the other. Phillip explains the importance of these icons with a mix of metaphors that would make sense if your TV only got Animal Planet, Lifetime and The History Channel. Rob’s watching the World Wrestling Federation, so he taps out Kristina. Phillip votes for Kristina, but she plays the Immunity Idol and it’s Matt Elrod who takes the long walk (on water?) to Redemption Island.



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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 Performing Phil-ratio Scarlett O Hara 02-24-11 1
   RE: Performing Phil-ratio kingfish 02-25-11 27
   RE: Performing Phil-ratio Spanky68 02-27-11 55
 ... and another thing Scarlett O Hara 02-24-11 2
   Ohhhhhh Robbbbbbbb suzzee 02-24-11 3
 San Francesca. Pay Atttention. suzzee 02-24-11 4
   RE: San Francesca. Pay Atttention. agman 02-24-11 5
   RE: San Francesca. Pay Atttention. michel 02-27-11 60
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... dabo 02-24-11 6
   RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... Sunny_Bunny 02-24-11 9
       RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... dabo 02-24-11 14
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... kingfish 02-24-11 7
   RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... suzzee 02-24-11 17
   WHUT? foonermints 02-25-11 23
       RE: WHUT? kingfish 02-25-11 25
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... jbug 02-24-11 8
 My Strategy, Revealed Karchita 02-24-11 10
 Oh, Russell ... Sunny_Bunny 02-24-11 11
 One question for all Sunny_Bunny 02-24-11 12
   why, of course,,,, jbug 02-24-11 13
       RE: why, of course,,,, suzzee 02-24-11 18
   RE: One question for all tribephyl 02-25-11 32
       Rasta Spoiler kingfish 02-25-11 34
       RE: One question for all dabo 02-25-11 35
           RE: One question for all Sunny_Bunny 02-25-11 40
               RE: One question for all dabo 03-01-11 65
       RE: One question for all Sunny_Bunny 02-25-11 39
       RE: One question for all agman 02-26-11 47
           RE: One question for all RollDdice 03-01-11 69
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... Belle Book 02-24-11 15
   RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... kingfish 02-24-11 16
       RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... suzzee 02-24-11 19
       RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... Belle Book 02-24-11 20
           OK, Just for That foonermints 02-25-11 22
               RE: OK, Just for That Belle Book 02-25-11 37
                   Just Thinking foonermints 02-25-11 38
                       RE: Just Thinking Belle Book 02-26-11 45
                           *SNAP* *SNAP* foonermints 02-26-11 48
       RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... Karchita 02-24-11 21
           RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... michel 02-27-11 58
               RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... Karchita 03-01-11 66
                   RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... michel 03-01-11 67
                       RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... Karchita 03-01-11 70
                           RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... michel 03-01-11 71
                           Rumor has it.. foonermints 03-01-11 72
       RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... suzzee 02-25-11 24
           RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... agman 02-25-11 26
               RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... kingfish 02-25-11 29
               Look at your man. Now back to me. ... Karchita 02-26-11 43
   RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... michel 02-27-11 59
 Spoilers, Spoilers! kingfish 02-25-11 28
   RE: Spoilers, Spoilers! suzzee 02-25-11 30
       RE: Spoilers, Spoilers! kingfish 02-25-11 31
           RE: Spoilers, Spoilers! Karchita 02-25-11 36
               RE: Spoilers, Spoilers! suzzee 02-25-11 41
   RE: Spoilers, Spoilers! tribephyl 02-25-11 33
       RE: Spoilers, Spoilers! suzzee 02-25-11 42
           RE: Spoilers, Spoilers! kingfish 02-26-11 44
               You're goin' to Hollywood! suzzee 02-26-11 49
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... kingfish 02-26-11 46
   RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... suzzee 02-26-11 50
       I'm Waiting to Hook Up foonermints 02-26-11 51
           RE: I'm Waiting to Hook Up suzzee 02-26-11 53
               RE: I'm Waiting to Hook Up foonermints 02-28-11 63
   RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... Karchita 02-26-11 52
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... Ontheroadagain 02-26-11 54
 Mid-Nite Drama! kingfish 02-27-11 56
   RE: Mid-Nite Drama! suzzee 02-27-11 57
   RE: Mid-Nite Drama! michel 02-28-11 64
   I miss my dog jbug 03-02-11 74
 Stephanie kingfish 02-28-11 61
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... samboohoo 02-28-11 62
 RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The... kingfish 03-01-11 68
 RACE DAY! kingfish 03-02-11 73
   RE: RACE DAY! dabo 03-02-11 75

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Scarlett O Hara 3259 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 09:11 AM (EST)
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1. "Performing Phil-ratio"
Hey,

You gotta know that there is one leader at this tribe and it ain't my friend Phil here.

I'm playin' with amatuers and when I see the crew startin' to pair off, I gotta take matters into my own hands. I am goin' to win this game if it's the last thing I do. I was robbed of the win for All-Stars and last season, I had the disadvantage of not having seen RussHell's game. With an alliance dim-wit like Tyson, I was toast.

That aint happenin' again folks. There's no fraternizing with the enemy under the Rawb-fadda's watch!

I know only one way to play and that is Big, bad and BOLD. Natalie, if I have to carry you on my back, I'm takin' you all the way to the end! Now Phillip and Kristina, listen up, do as your told and you might live to see a few more days.

As long as the Robfadda 4 can stay together we have got this game under control!

P.S. Matt, sorry my friend -- you can continue your journey over at RI. Didn't you read the rules? No end-game socializing prior to the merge Buddy.

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 01:09 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: Performing Phil-ratio"
LAST EDITED ON 02-25-11 AT 02:15 PM (EST)

Big oopsy doopsy by MissyPrissy.

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Spanky68 8092 desperate attention whore postings
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02-27-11, 00:53 AM (EST)
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55. "RE: Performing Phil-ratio"
I don't think you're being very fair. All I did was reach out to them. It was the golden rule, Robfadder.

I was so stunned after you stabbed me in the back that I almost said damn as I left the TC.

But you'll get yours. I will be back again.

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Scarlett O Hara 3259 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 09:36 AM (EST)
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2. "... and another thing"
Tribal Council ... I own it!

Jiffy personally called it "a work of art." After all, with my experience, I can do no wrong and it will always pay off! Going into Tribal Council, I lied to Matt and Andrea, got Kristina to play the idol, kept Philip in check, dictated how Phillip should vote and got rid of Matt. Wow. That was pretty amazing. I am pretty amazing!!

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 09:55 AM (EST)
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3. "Ohhhhhh Robbbbbbbb "
Pleeeeeeze don't notice me, please please please. And thanks for that Robfadderly like pat on the shoulder at TC. I swear I heard Godfather music (that movie was actually playing on AMC last night) and the pat of death was reassuring. I think. Play that Idol NOW.



Picking great alliances since Episode 1!

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 10:00 AM (EST)
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4. "San Francesca. Pay Atttention. "
What.a.moron. She's going try and start a fire with the flint when she's holding a lantern with a flame burning. Thick as a Brick.


Hey! Who moved the island?


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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 11:00 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: San Francesca. Pay Atttention. "
LAST EDITED ON 02-24-11 AT 11:02 AM (EST)

>What.a.moron. She's going try and start
>a fire with the flint
>when she's holding a lantern
>with a flame burning. Thick
>as a Brick.

Here in the corp, we call that F.U.B.A.R.


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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02-27-11, 11:00 PM (EST)
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60. "RE: San Francesca. Pay Atttention. "
We can make her feel but we can't make her think.


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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 11:20 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
I would just like to thank the medical staff for allowing me back my estrogen suppl.. suppl.. pills. I really needed it after Fransesquatch said bad things about me. Me! I proudly put my brain on the line working in intelligence for my country.. I have feelings! I'm getting my cravings back.


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Sunny_Bunny 5581 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 02:39 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
Oh, Agent Coffee. The way you run your mouth, you really should go off-line for awhile.

You never answered my question last week. What exactly did you do at the agency? Were you the agent in charge of decimating the English language?


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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 04:50 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
Cryptology.. ))choke(( .. it's such a morbid name, crypto.. I have a lot of strong emotional feelings.


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 12:10 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
LAST EDITED ON 02-24-11 AT 12:28 PM (EST)


Week Three Spoilers

I have something to say, so I want you all to gather around. Please, take your seats ladies and gentleman, I'll be brief.

Brief!! ...(tee hee giggle snort), brief...get it? Oh wait, let me get my pants off... now you get it? Pretty funny huh? Briefs? Ha ha. I just kill my self.

Now that we have the opening hilarity out of the way (Giggle...Briefs...Ha ha)

Spoiler one: Francesca will be interviewed by a snake offering the apple of wisdom on redemption island, and it will begin to dawn on her that this is no ordinary island, and this is not your fathers game of "Survivor". It's the real deal, baby!

Spoiler two: According to Russell,

"When your rooster crows at the break of dawn,
Look out your window and I'll be gone,
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
Don't think twice, it's all right.


Spoiler three: Kristina continues her count down. She's at day three now. Will Phillip make everyone forget about Kristina? Or will Rob finally overplay his band of blonds? Stay tuned next week for, "As The Godfadda Burns".

Spolier four: The EPMB faces a dilemma, is it still racist to refer to a black man who throws a spear at a crab as Spearchucker? The lawyers get involved with this one, and it threatens to burn out a few of their Blackberry texting circuits.

Spoiler five:
Francesca> "Who says 'Whut?'"
Matt> "Whut? Whut?"
Francesca> "I said, who says 'Whut?'"
Matt> "Whut?"

This amusing little back and forth goes on for hours. Matt is still saying "Whut?" when the Amazon natives arrive and begin pouring BBQ sauce (the vinegary kind) on him. But this little play actually saves poor clueless Matt, they decide they'd rather poke sticks at him and laugh. And they were still full from the little smokey and hush-puppy feast.




Tribal art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I need hits, I'm financing this spoiling out of my own pocket, and and it's getting serious. I really really need the hits.


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 07:27 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"

I need hits, I'm financing this spoiling out of my own pocket, and and it's getting serious. I really really need the hits.

I'll hit ya MP, let me unscrew my smackin' arm.


Picking great alliances since Episode 1!

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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 02:56 AM (EST)
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23. "WHUT?"
»Spoiler two: According to Russell,

"When your rooster crows at the break of dawn,
Look out your window and I'll be gone,
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
Don't think twice, it's all right.«

OK, you found me and licked the correct end. With that statement, it's pretty obvious.

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 10:46 AM (EST)
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25. "RE: WHUT?"
Hey...This country boy knows which end of a toad to lick!

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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 02:19 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
This is like a nice beach vacation out here.
Nothin to do much; nothin to think about.

Think I'll take another nap & work on my tan.


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Karchita 4469 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 02:44 PM (EST)
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10. "My Strategy, Revealed"
Silence is golden.

I did actually speak once this week, but no one remembers what I said, so it doesn't count.



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Sunny_Bunny 5581 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 02:45 PM (EST)
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11. "Oh, Russell ..."
I haven't been giving you the face time I should have been giving you all this time, so let me make up for that now.

Ok Mr. "find the idol without a clue," you are definitely losing your touch. Not only have you let it slip away, but you let the Wookie who actually DID find it watch you grab the clue. And yet you call everyone else idiots. So, how are you going to use your mad playing skills get you out of this one?

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Sunny_Bunny 5581 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 02:49 PM (EST)
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12. "One question for all"
LAST EDITED ON 02-24-11 AT 02:51 PM (EST)

Well, everyone except Agent Coffee. (I do NOT want to hear his explanation again!_

According to Jiffy, you are all animals. Tell me what animal you think best represents you.

and remember, not everyone can be the chameleon. lol

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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 04:44 PM (EST)
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13. "why, of course,,,,"

get it? pig? pigskin? football??


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 07:28 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: why, of course,,,,"
I'll be an armadillo.

It's the heat


Picking great alliances since Episode 1!


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tribephyl 9688 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 05:07 PM (EST)
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32. "RE: One question for all"

The Komondor is a large white-colored Hungarian breed of livestock guardian dog with a long, corded coat. They are sometimes referred to as mop dogs. The Komondor is an old-established powerful dog breed which has a natural guardian instinct to guard livestock and other property.

Rob is my property. I protect Rob.

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 05:19 PM (EST)
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34. "Rasta Spoiler"
Spoiler: Rasta Boy will be caught sneaking into the other camp and giving Rooster "de Dreads", claiming that that much fur is just begging for a make over.

And Rooster's camp is treated to the rare vision of a Crowing Chewbaca.



Tribal Art


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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 05:31 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: One question for all"
The gorillion is loyal to the tribepack, ARUWAH.


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Sunny_Bunny 5581 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 10:12 PM (EST)
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40. "RE: One question for all"
Funny choice, Agent Coffee... because the gorilla's I've seen like to beat their chests, bare there teeth...

and play with their own poo. LOL

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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-11, 02:06 AM (EST)
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65. "RE: One question for all"
Carnivore poo is firmer than herbivore poo thus having a greater projected trajectory when it flies. It's a fact.


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02-25-11, 10:09 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: One question for all"
Interesting pick, Grant. However, do you really want everyone to mop the floor with you?


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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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02-26-11, 02:54 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: One question for all"
LAST EDITED ON 02-26-11 AT 03:32 PM (EST)


Believe me as a federal agent in my early days I became an expert on Komondor's because I had to go undercover as one once!



To the untrained "federal" eye, we can't be told apart!!!

apologies to Dabo

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RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-11, 12:17 PM (EST)
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69. "RE: One question for all"
If this is a veiled request for the return of the Medallion of Power, you can forget about it. The M.O.P was a flop!



Mark "We grow, we evolve" Burnett
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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 05:40 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
Rooster got the Hidden Immunity Idol! That means the Troll didn't get it! I'm happy now!


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 06:43 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
New spoiler, this just in

The HII finds out that there is a fate worse that being stashed in Russell's underwear. Rooster not only doesn't bathe while on Survivor, be didn't bathe for a month prior. That's just how he rolls.

Ar-a-ar-a-roooooo!



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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 07:30 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
ewwww. So what your sayin' is that furry stuff is some kind of refrigerator fuzz?

Gah, keep him off my beach. I'm ticklish.


Hey! Who moved the island?


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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 08:53 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
I've got some news for you, MissyPissy. I don't mind Rooster's not bathing -- not when Troll doesn't have me stashed in his underwear. As far as I'm concerned, being stashed in Troll's underwear is a fate worse than death!


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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 02:40 AM (EST)
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22. "OK, Just for That"
Once I get my fingers on you, you're holstered in back.


Now you will never meet my "native greeter". Your Loss. BIG time iykwim.

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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 07:06 PM (EST)
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37. "RE: OK, Just for That"
Hopefully, you'll never get your fingers on me, Troll!


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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 09:48 PM (EST)
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38. "Just Thinking"
Given your current location, once I finger you I'd better find some Ape-Hair remover to rub all over your cheap wood*.


*Stinko-Bilboa would be my guess.

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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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02-26-11, 12:59 PM (EST)
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45. "RE: Just Thinking"
Well, if you do finger me and rub Ape-Hair remover, I insist you wear gloves!


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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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02-26-11, 04:10 PM (EST)
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48. "*SNAP* *SNAP*"
My motto is "Be Prepared!"


Get ready baby, I'm coming for you.

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Karchita 4469 desperate attention whore postings
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02-24-11, 10:49 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
Only a month? It smells more like a year.

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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02-27-11, 10:53 PM (EST)
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58. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
So that's why you stay away from me? Too bad for you because there are no cameras where you're hiding. I know you want me!


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Karchita 4469 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-11, 02:22 AM (EST)
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66. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
"Here to make Russhole look pretty."

That's not working for me.

Jus' sayin'.


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-11, 08:28 AM (EST)
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67. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
Maybe, but your "OutTwat This" sure has me laughing.


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Karchita 4469 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-11, 04:46 PM (EST)
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70. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
Humpf. You have just the level of reading skills that I'd expect from a second grade drop out.


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-11, 06:48 PM (EST)
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71. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
It's so obvious that you want me that it makes you look desperate! Don't be so shy of the cameras, assert yourself and we can have a nice showmance!


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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-11, 06:55 PM (EST)
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72. "Rumor has it.."
He was forced to drop out. Not just because he was constantly called "The Hairy Little Monkey", but it was his developing odiferousness.


An old newspaper article states that several classmates sitting near his desk expired one day.

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 08:59 AM (EST)
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24. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
What is that smell? The wind shifted and all I can smell is wet Rooster .


Hey! Who moved the island?


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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 12:04 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
What is that smell? The wind
shifted and all I can
smell is wet Rooster .

If this were Loser Lodge, I would have an interesting comment for that!!!!

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 02:28 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
LAST EDITED ON 02-25-11 AT 02:30 PM (EST)

I think,by anybodys definition, Redemption Island could easily be today's Loser Island. Wonder where ole TribePhil hid the Lodge? Mr. Teal is certianly a sneaky Pete.


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Karchita 4469 desperate attention whore postings
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02-26-11, 02:37 AM (EST)
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43. "Look at your man. Now back to me. "
He's the man your man could smell like ... in your worst nightmare.


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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02-27-11, 10:59 PM (EST)
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59. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
My little snake
I will keep you snug and warm.

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 02:23 PM (EST)
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28. "Spoilers, Spoilers!"
LAST EDITED ON 02-25-11 AT 02:27 PM (EST)

Big News

As I was sipping my morning tea this morning on the esplanade, a shadowy figure sidled up to my table and asked directions to the nearest Roy Rodgers Roast Beef restaurant. He whispered in a Cajun drawl that he just had to get a burger from one of those bandanna skirted cuties. And while he was whispering, he nonchalantly laid a newspaper on my table.

After he left I started to throw the paper away but as I was doing so a hand written note fell out. I grabbed it. It was today's spoilers. Apparently, I had been in the actual presence of my spoiler source (*Not-Russell)! I was this close and hadn't realized it. He was short, stocky, hairy, and smelled like yesterdays dead mullet. He had a smirky expression and a hat covering a bulbous balding head, this *not-Russell source of mine.

Spoiler 1: Kristina finds what she believes to be another HII. It is a round squishy brown HII that falls out of Russell's underwear at the IC. (Insider tip: it isn't an HII. Ewwww.....).

Spoiler 2: The little play in Redemption Island is still underway:

Francesca>"An idiot white boy says 'Whut'."
Matt> "Whut?"
Francesca>"My little Cabana bitch boy says 'Whut'."
Matt> "Whut?"
Francesca>"The next Amazonian Natives BBQ boy meat says 'Whut'."
Matt> "Whut?"

The Amazonian Natives laugh uproariously. They are amused. And getting hungrier.

Spoiler #3: Rooster calls in Shambo's lost chickens.

Spoiler #4: Andrea declares "No body gets between me and my Man".

(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 03:10 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Spoilers, Spoilers!"
I think I'm going to have to make friends with Andrea. I'll even let her know Rob did it. Hot Doggies! (deja vu again) I'm gonna start a new alliance.



Picking great alliances since Episode 1!

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 04:02 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Spoilers, Spoilers!"
Make friends with Francesca, and you get Hot Little Smokies! In BBQ sauce (the vinegary kind).


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Karchita 4469 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 05:38 PM (EST)
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36. "RE: Spoilers, Spoilers!"
Smokies? I have it on good authority that Matt only has one Hot Little Smoky.

Or used to have, anyhow.


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 11:14 PM (EST)
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41. "RE: Spoilers, Spoilers!"
>rimshot<


Hey! Who moved the island?


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tribephyl 9688 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 05:15 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: Spoilers, Spoilers!"
Kristina: I found the idol! Here it is.

Grant: But it's just a sh...tick.

Kristina: I know. It smells funny too. But this will surely work to blindside someone at TC.

Grant: Seriously, it's poop. Please don't throw this down at TC.

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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02-25-11, 11:17 PM (EST)
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42. "RE: Spoilers, Spoilers!"
>rimshot< >cymbal crash<

On top of Old Smokey,
All covered in cheese,

what the heck are the rest of the words?



Hey! Who moved the island?


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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02-26-11, 10:13 AM (EST)
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44. "RE: Spoilers, Spoilers!"
Saturday Morning

and apparently my spoiler source (*not-Russell) has taken the day off. Maybe he's just late, ot maybe he's washing his underwear (in light of recent criticism). Ok, fat chance of that. anyway, I am in the shower as I write this and am breaking into song...

"On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed."

"It rolled off the table,
And on to the floor,
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled right out the door."

"So if you eat spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball,
Whenever you sneeze"

I know, I know, you're thinking "Hey, the Fourth Tenor!!", or "You ought to be on "Greatest Idol That Ever Was". I don't blame you, that was dam good. But please, I am far too modest for great wealth and fame, let's just keep word of my immense talent between us, Waddya say?



Tribal Art

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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02-26-11, 05:23 PM (EST)
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49. "You're goin' to Hollywood!"
ooops wrong show. MissyP's got talent and it's(*not Russell)


Picking great alliances since Episode 1!

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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02-26-11, 01:46 PM (EST)
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46. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
It's a Spoilerish Morning

Good morning. I finished my room service meal, showered (you may have heard a little of my yodeling), and I'm snug in my ridiculously thick terry robe. And I have news from my Spoiler source, found under my Eggs Benedict. I licked the hollandaise off (yum) and here are the latest items:

Spoiler #1: Andrea, Ashley, Natalie, Sarita, and Stephanie are Raunchy Girl School graduates, and have secretly allied. Matt was enrolled in RGS at one time, but he was too feminine had to be sent to Raunchy Girl School Redemption Island. He spent a month there saying "Whut?" and fluttering his eye lashes.

Raunchy Girl School Redemption Island Nun> "Raunchy Girls say 'Whut'?".
Matt> "Whut?"
Raunchy Girl School Redemption Island Nun> "Raunchy Girl bitch boys say 'Whut'?".
Matt> "Whut?"
Raunchy Girl School Redemption Island Nun> "Naughty Nun's Cabana Boys say 'Whut'?".
Matt> "Whut?"

(You get the picture)

Spoiler #2: Despite her doubts, Kristina tied a string on the HII (not!) that fell out of Russell's underwear, and is wearing it around her neck. She is finding it difficult to recruit allies however.

Spoiler #3: The HII that Rooster found become tangled up in the hair of his well disguised crack, but is finally located when his tribe wins a hedge clipper in their reward basket.

Spoiler #4: Once again Rooster goes sin ropa, and no blurring is required to conform to PG guidelines.

Spoiler #5: RobFadda weaves another complicated scheme to boot a fellow castaway, even more complicated than the last, and finds to his disbelief that he is voting to blindside himself.

Spoiler #6: After three weeks on the beach, Grant's dreads become semi-animated Zombi-locks.


(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}


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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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02-26-11, 05:26 PM (EST)
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50. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
Despite her doubts, Kristina tied a string on the HII (not!) that fell out of Russell's underwear, and is wearing it around her neck. She is finding it difficult to recruit allies however.

True dat, but the mosquitoes have gone to the other side of came!


Picking great alliances since Episode 1!

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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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02-26-11, 06:16 PM (EST)
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51. "I'm Waiting to Hook Up"
Butt in this incarnation, y'all ain't no pint sized passion pixie!


A short mean man in the Land of Giants.

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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02-26-11, 09:46 PM (EST)
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53. "RE: I'm Waiting to Hook Up"
<squeeeeeeeeeeeeee>


Picking great alliances since Episode 1!

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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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02-28-11, 06:11 PM (EST)
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63. "RE: I'm Waiting to Hook Up"
I loves making the wimmins skweal.


What's not to like?

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Karchita 4469 desperate attention whore postings
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02-26-11, 06:51 PM (EST)
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52. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
MissyPissy, please take a break from all your hard work of spoiling and tell us about your youthful days at The International School for Pissy Girls.

Please?

*puppy eyes*



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Ontheroadagain 923 desperate attention whore postings
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02-26-11, 10:22 PM (EST)
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54. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
OK, that's it, I'm not asking Phillip any more questions.


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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02-27-11, 01:31 PM (EST)
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56. "Mid-Nite Drama!"
LAST EDITED ON 02-28-11 AT 09:46 AM (EST)


Drama in Survivor's-ville

Overnight quite a few very dramatic events took place in both camps. But first, a little background on MissyPrissy.

Sarita instigated a evil plot to out MissyPrissy, Sourced Spoiler to the stars, (not my real name) in the hopes that her bestest friend forever, a certain federal agent tasked with serving subpoenas on certain Survivor Spoiler sources (* whose name is not-Russell), would go down in Survivor lore as the Survivor Spoiler of the Sourced survivor spoiler (* not-Russell).

We employed the Kingfish Detective agency (sore-assed Detective to the Stars) to get to the bottom of this plot.

As usual, Kingfish was deep into his bottle of rotgut and the case was assigned by his voluptuous assistant Velma, to his #2, FrankFoonerSchooner. His first task was to interview that nefarious so-called federal agent. Under intense pressure (Frank asked him about his tattoos) this semi-Fed blurted out the entire scheme. Apparently, Sarita was going by an alias that began with "K" and ended with "archita". What with the legal process being what it is, we can't be any more specific than that.

So, Frank, being the evil plotter that he is, decided to feed the Fed and his evil twin (fraternal) a back story that would hold up under scrutiny by the EPMB interrogator, Jiffy Pop.

Jiffy Pop>"So what's your story, MissyPrissy? You want a drink of water? Nice cool refreshing, thirst slacking water? Ummm, it tastes real good, Nice and cold...Yum yum. You want some? You can't have any until you spill. NOW SPILL, LITTLE MISSY!!!"

(he said this last part in a real loud voice, and I was scared, I'll tell you whut! So I fed him FrankFoonerSchooner's made up story.)

MissyPrissy>"So like ya know I'm sitting in the mall the other day and like my friend Buffy (she's like my BFF, ya know) says to me "Hey, Pris" (my name is MissyPrissy ya know, but, like, ya know, my friends call me Pris, ya know?). I say "Hey" back, ya know, cause I'm all polite and everything? And then I said "How do you like like these new shoes? I went to charge them on my fathers account, and they like went all unreasonable on me, and said I couldn't, ya know. Oh My God! They were like totally unreasonable. You see how they go with this dress? I was like destined to wear these shoes. So I asked if I could borrow them, ya know?"

"The sales girl was Brenda, you know, with the frizzy hair and the Ug face? She said I couldn't."

"Helloooo, like who does she think she's talking to -- Miss Uninformed? It's not like I wasn't the one who like told her all about the time I caught HER ex-boyfriend Brian making out with that heifer cheerleader like last week, ya know."

"Anyway, I told her like how I was taking them anyway because I had a date with Justin (he's, like, ya know, a total stud puppy). I was like "Oh my God, only a total dweeb would, ya know, like say no because none of this stuff made ANY sense. So, Oh my God, I'm like, you know? Totally? Gag me with a spoon!"

"So I took them."

Jiffy Pop>"Thanks, Missy, that's all I needed to hear, off you go to the International School for Prissy girls where lesbian Nuns will whip your hiney every time you take the Lord's name in vain. Then they try and make it better, but that's another story."

So that's how I got there.

On to the Island Drama:

Spoiler #1: Matt says "Whut?"

Spoiler #2: Steve had the medical crew visit him to see about his raging Jock Itch. He mentions that he's been scratching that itch since his NFL days. The medical crew considers putting him down on the spot, but that's hard to explain to the law, so then they consider a MedEvac. However, they realize that to do that someone would actually have to touch him, so they decide to just go "Ewwwwww" and back away.

Spoiler #3: Andrea secretly fashions a fake HII, except that she begins to stick pins into it's little Boston Red Sox cap topped head. When she conducts a secret midnite ceremony and invokes the spirit of Marie Laveau, it becomes evident that it isn't meant to be an HII after all. Bad news for de RobFadda. Good news for everyone else.

Spoiler #4: Speaking of HIIs, there is a mini revolt in the Survivor Hidden Immunity Idol crew. After being found by the odoriferous (hey, it's a word!. Look it up!) Ralph, and with the distinct possibility that Russell will find it next, the Survivor HII's staged a walkout. However, the HII in Ralph's butt crack is still tangled up in his crack fur, it hasn't been freed yet. The EPMB sent out the Island Troopers to bring the HIIs back in chains. Although the HII union has been busted, we the viewers aren't inconvenienced, so that's alright.

Spoiler #5: Grant's living-dead Zombie-Dreads scare the living hell out of his tribemates.

Spoiler #6: (Teaser) Matt ties a string around his pole and sticks it out as far as he can. And Francesca reaches out....

(Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of "Mine's longer than Yours")

(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"

02-27-11, 09:02 PM (EST)
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57. "RE: Mid-Nite Drama!"
Well, well. If the shoes don't fit, you must acquit. I suspect your source is >total blackout<..........

What happens on the island stays on the island. What ever Matt (can I get a whut-whut?) ties to his equipment will end up on Re-bay for your bidding pleasure.


Hey! Who moved the island?


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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

02-28-11, 07:04 PM (EST)
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64. "RE: Mid-Nite Drama!"
You, the little piggy, says that I smell? At least I smell like a man, not a pork that's been marinating in Russell's sty waiting to get his scoops.


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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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03-02-11, 10:16 AM (EST)
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74. "I miss my dog"
his name is scratchy

Therefore, I itch.
Simple, huh.


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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02-28-11, 10:11 AM (EST)
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61. "Stephanie"
News Flash!

Spoiler #1: Stephanie says that THIS is gonna be the BEST blindside EVER! (gag me with a spoon!)

Spoiler #2: A soon to be revealed Survivor Secret, and you heard it here first. There is a castaway named Natalie. She is not an immunity idol, nor is she a tribal Immunity Totem. She is a living breathing person and has been there along.

(Imagine that, see what interesting tidbits you can pick up in this column? Even better, there are still other survivors hidden in this picture. See if you can pick them out. OK, hint - there is an Ashley who thinks that beauty pageants get a bad rap. This is a tough one. Her camouflage with background blandness is dead on.)


(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}


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samboohoo 17075 desperate attention whore postings
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02-28-11, 12:17 PM (EST)
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62. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
I'm here. You just can't see me stuck up Rob's aras. <----- Boo-made-up Survivor slang.

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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03-01-11, 11:38 AM (EST)
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68. "RE: Be The Survivor: S22 Ep02: ‘The Crustacean Hunter’"
Red Carpet News

Just as I was about to finish off my Cheerios this morning, a pigeon flew in the window of my penthouse apartment with a message attached to it's little skinny leg. It was from my (now, our) Spoiler Source, * Not-Russell. Apparently he attended the Oscars the other night and manged to get a few interviews from some of the Survivors who had been invited to serve as seat fillers.

* Not Russell> "Hello Ralph, say who's clothes are you wearing, that's quite a becoming outfit."

Rooster> "Why Thanky, this here's a Bib coverall in Cameo, on loan to me from the house of Aunt Pearl, she lives up the holler a ways from me, you see, and she had a few extry quilts she didn't need any more, so she throwed this together."

* Not Russell> "And you Kristina, what unusual jewelry you're wearing. What is it, exactly?"

Kristina> "You like this? I just found it. I tied a string to it and everyone said it looked good on me, so I decided to wear it. It's doesn't smell all that good, though. And I couldn't get a date. Glad you like it though, you doing anything after the party?"

* Not Russell> "No, I mean yes, I'm afraid I'm busy. Please stand over there. A little farther. Maybe a little farther?"

* Not Russell> "Hello Matt, are you enjoying yourself?"

Matt> "Whut?"

* Not Russell> "Nevermind. And stop sticking your pole out. It's embarrassing."

* Not Russell> "Francesca, you're looking mighty nice this evening, and I see you brought a date? I'm surprised you and Phillip are even talking."

Francesca> "I can't talk about it. It's a big secret."

* Not Russell> "I see. OK. What about you Phillip? How do you like this weather?"

Phillip> "I like this weather because I'm (and keep this under your hat) an extra special top notch super special Federal agent, and so I have the ability to profile you and I had to arrest the Frankeska, (sorry I seem to have something in my throat), and since I am a man, I can roar like a gorilla and pound my chest like a lion. I am a special man, and you can't process me with your puny brain. So I am taking Flanquesqua to a secret Jail which I can't reveal the extra-special location to you right now. It's in Poughkeepsie, though. I tell you that because I have integrity, and can throw elephant turds like a lion with the heart of a tiger."

* Not Russell> "I see. OK. and is there a reason you wore your red underwear tonite?"

Phillip> "Well, when I escaped from the institution, that's what I had on."

* Not Russell> "Oakaly dokaly. That does explain a lot."

(That was all that skinny little pigeon leg could hold.)

(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}


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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

03-02-11, 10:16 AM (EST)
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73. "RACE DAY!"
And the excitement is reaching a fever pitch!

Tonite the next episode in this rat race will air, and I can hardly contain myself. I'm all atwitter and just about to spill out all over with nervous fluid energy. That's about as close as I can come to a precise description of what I'm about to do and still remain within the PG guidelines of genteel society.


And tonite it will be all about outing castaways and revealing secrets that they would prefer were kept secret.

Secrets. They will erode your soul and turn you into a bubbling pool of regretful pus if you don't lance them and bare your soul for the vultures among us to feed on.

Spoiler #1: Tonite Rooster will be outed. It will be revealed under questioning by the evil high inquisitor, Jiffy Pop, that he is a backwoods yokel who is an aficionado of "Purdy Mouths". He has been married three times, twice to humans, and once to a goat. He is a free thinker.

Spoiler #2: To no ones surprise, it will be revealed that Phillip is indeed an escaped inmate from MissyPrissy's International Institution for the Muddleheaded. The similarities between our names in entirely coincidental, I assure you. There is a also warrant for his arrest. Apparently he pulled a red underwear heist. He would have gotten away clean if he could have resisted spilling the beans to the nearest security guard on his way out.

Spoiler #3: The Cute Native Medical girl will be caught boinking Matt by the Night Shift cameraman. Said she, "Well, I think it was the way he said 'Whut?' that I fell in love with. I just love girly boys who say 'Whut?'." Shortly afterward Jiffy Pop could be heard practicing "Whut"? His affinity for Cute Native Medical girls will be revealed.

Spoiler #4: Stephanie tattoo will be revealed. Her Tramp Stamp is "Russell's Bitch".

Spoiler #5: Fine print on the HII will be revealed. "Not Russell's Bitch nyah nyah nyah". This is probably not a reference to my *not-Russell spoiling source.

Spoiler #6: Russell is a short squatty ill tempered egotistical balding bulbous headed hairy ball of poop. (Ed Note: Apologies to Kingfish, that was too good to not plagiarize.)

(My *not-Russell spoiler source assures me that more outing and more revealed secrets are to come)

(* legal disclaimer.)



Tribal Art

{Remember folks cut and paste "Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!" in your voting thread on spoilers. Don't let me down. I'm financing this spoiling gig out of my own pocket, and it's getting serious.}


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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

03-02-11, 03:06 PM (EST)
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75. "RE: RACE DAY!"

Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!

Because Spoiler to the stars, MissyPissy says so!

The vote thread is really close right now.

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