PREVIOUSLY ON SURVIVORThe adverse conditions and lack of food, water, and shelter have Jeff narrating that this is NOT a game for the "weak." We are also shown the wooden crates containing food and survival supplies (the ding-a-lings decided to surround the campfire with) go up in flames. Perhaps we should have heard Jeff's voice also narrating..."although it is a game for the Dumb." But I guess that criticism is more appropriate for casting/production.
We are also "treated" to a montage of castaways who have contemplated quitting the game. HMMMM...wonder why they would show that???
DAY 28
I usually enjoy being shown the countdown of days played in the game; but his season is bothersome because everytime they show the day we are subjected to see "Libertad" above the number. I don't know about you, but IMHO that's got to be the most stupid and ridiculous merge name ever. And for those who have followed all the seasons, there have been some real doozies.
Coming back from TC, Purple Kelly declares she's got no idea what's going on. Surprise, Surprise! When a girl's Bio states her greatest accomplishment ever is winning Homecoming Queen in HS, it's a wonder she has any idea what goes on in life nevermind the game of Survivor.
NaOnka rants and raves about how Brenda threw her under the bus at TC. She has a message for Brenda, "You didn't make me look bad, B!tch!" No NaOnka, Brenda didn't make you look bad. You do a stellar job making yourself look bad all on your own.
Benry ponders why players can't handle the conditions by asking the question, "Isn't this a RAIN forest?" Yes Benry, it is a rain forest. Unfortunately a "mere" oversight by those who were casting for this season.
Fabio takes a page from "Happy Gilmore" and says the secret to dealing with the adverse conditions is to think of a "mental happy place."
Visions of dancing dwarfs and hotties wearing white garter belts carrying large pitchers of beer come to mind.
When NaOnka wanted to quit premerge, she drew strength from Alina holding her hand and Chase inspiring her about some rainbow that ended up in the back of his pickup truck. But with Alina out of the game and Chase with no more Hallmark movie themes, her decision to quit intensifies. It leads to a one-on-one scene wth NaOnka and Chase where NaOnka hands the HII to Chase because Chase is "her boy." Chase is overwhelmed and states it's the first time he's ever seen the HII. Obviously Chase was never on a tribe with Marty whose HII was on display almost as frequently as Brenda's butt cheeks.
In a confessional Chase says that "her boy" will NOT give the HII back to NaOnka even if she stays in the game.
REWARD CHALLENGE - GULLIVER
Players will do a schoolyard pick to form two teams of four. Each team must carry an oversized and heavy male doll through a series of obstacles. First team to cross the finish line wins. The doll's name is Gulliver. Why? Because the winning team enjoys a private screening of the upcoming movie "Gulliver's Travels" with theater food, i.e., hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, and candy. I guess the network feels if it is unable to salvage a subpar season like Nicaragua, may as well try to promote another remake of the silly story of "Gulliver's Travels." I'm no Siskel and Ebert, but my prediction is this movie bombs as badly as Sash's racial alliance.
The teams are picked. Blue Team - Benry, Chase, NaOnka & Holly. Yellow Team - Fabio, Sash, Kelly & Jane. Understandably Dan is not picked. So he must watch the challenge sitting on a giant, oversized chair. As we watch his knee replacements dangling back and forth we are told Dan picked the Blue Team to win, and if they do, will accompany them on the reward.
The RC starts with both teams having to undo knots and release the ropes that are tying Gulliver on a board. They must carry Gulliver through the obstacles without the doll falling to the ground. From beginning to end the competition is closely contested with both teams enjoying a back and forth lead change throughout the challenge. Jeff does an outstanding job shouting words of encouragement and motivation to spur both teams on. But in the end Benry, handling most the weight of Gulliver, leads Team Blue to victory.
Dan chose correctly and is asked to join the Blue Team. Jeff's comment of "no effort but still enjoys the reward" pretty much sums up Dan's Survivor experience.
NaOnka has something to say. She announces she wants to quit because her bones and joints hurt. Jeff is visibly disgusted. He addresses the other eight and almost sarcastically asks if anyone else wants to quit? Much to his dismay the Homecoming Queen raises her hand. Jeff is distraught. He is beside himself that, not one but, TWO players want to bail. He reminds them it's Day 28 and only 11 more days and a one-in-nine shot at a million dollars.
But there's one more order of business at the RC. Jeff reveals a new tarp and enough rice for 11 more days. If any of the five choose to forego the movie and food, they can go back to camp with the Yellow Team and bring back the tarp and rice to replace what was destroyed and lost by their act of stupidity of building a fireplace with wood.
All eyes are on NaOnka who has pretty much checked out of the game. But she doesn't budge and stays put. Holly then volunteers to sacrifice reward. She says she can have a hot dog anytime, but the tarp and extra rice are needed for everyone. As she joins the Yellow Team she pleadingly looks over at NaOnka hoping for a last minute at of generousity. But NaOnka dosen't budge and stays put.
Jeff then makes an executive decision to give NaOnka and Kelly the rest of the day to think it over and perhaps reconsider their decisions to quit. In reality he's probably buying MB & Co. some time to make a quick call to the National Bone Marrow Registry to find out if another despicable human being who strongarm's handicapped girls, steals food from starving individuals, and is incapable of performing even the most obvious act of generosity actually exists as a perfect match for a marrow transplant procedure for NaOnka's aching bones. It will also give them time to prepare pink slips for the entire casting crew for the inexcusable debacle of casting Purple Kelly to begin with.
Team Blue (+ Dan) heads to a private movie screening, and Team Yellow (+ Holly) heads back to camp.
Holly tells us in a confessional she is extremely displeased with NaOnka and is hard on herself for having "misjudged" her. Hey, don't beat yourself up Momma...just play the edit card and use that as an excuse. Others do.
Team Blue (minus Holly plus Dan) walk into a makeshift movie theater. They chow down the movie food. NaOnka tells us she's "not a fool" and wouldn't consider giving up the reward. Actions speak louder than words as she shoves a hot dog in her mouth so fast the condiments are smeared all over her mouth. Hey, whatever it takes to cover those nasty dark splotches on her gums works for me.
Back at camp Momma Holly has a little one-on-one time with Kelly to try to talk her out of quitting. She tells her how her daughters wanted to quit cross country but she wouldn't let them and they ended up becoming All-State runners. Holly then gives that "Ah-huh" look as if to say, "I think I got to her." Hey Holly, when you go home ask your daughters if the Homecoming Queen in their HS really gave a hoot about their All-State X-C honors? On second thought you won't need to wait until you go home...TC is tonight.
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
There is NO immunity challenge. A disappointment to some fans but for the Social Butterflies who watch Survivor, it probably served as their own "mental happy place."
AT CAMP
The rain comes down harder. NaOnka is shivering and looks miserable. Purple Kelly has tears streaming down her face. Fabio looks straight ahead with his blond hair blowing in the wind and appears totally unaffected. But how can this be?
Ah yes...
Dancing dwarfs; white garter belts; pitchers of beer.
The storm gets worse heading into TC.
TRIBAL COUNCIL
As the rain turns into a monsoon the Jury of Alina, Marty, and Brenda are brought in. After a day of inquiries, not surprisingly, no match was found for NaOnka. And the threat of Union intervention from firing an entire casting crew would prove to be a daunting ordeal. So this TC comes down to NaOnka and Kelly's decision on whether to quit. This is the first the Jury has heard about both players seriously quitting.
Marty is appauled. Brenda is holding back from laughing. Alina is about to burst into tears.
As both women explain their reasons for quitting, Jeff tries every attempt of public humiliation saying they will be branded as "quitters" and may as well wear a scarlett letter "Q" for the rest of their lives. Other players chime in...
Benry makes the most appropriate comment at TC, "Winners never quit; Quitters never win." Even Chase, the recipient of NaOnka's HII, turns on her by questioning her decision to go on the reward. Holly recalls wanting to quit on Day 5, but says an inspirational speech from Coach Jimmy and her determination is why she's still here on Day 28. HMMMMM...don't you think the tribal switch, something you had absolutely and totally nothing to do with, had a weeeeee bit something to do with you still being here Day 28??? Buy hey, if you want to be an inspiration to your children and the kids you coach...go for it Mama!
NaOnka and Kelly are unmoved.
Marty is livid; Brenda is laughing; Alina is ready to cry.
So age is not used as an excuse, Jeff asks Fabio how much older he is than Kelly. His answer is one year and he would NEVER consider quitting. But Jeff, with Fabio it has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with...
Dancing dwarfs; white garter belts; pitchers of beer.
NaOnka declares she's proud to be the only Afro-American left in the game. The camera turns to Matt, better known as "Sash," the self-proclaimed mulatto who officially announced himself the "most eligible bachelor in NYC." We all expected a look from Sash as if to say "not exactly NaOnka," but still reeling from the implosion of his racial alliance, all we get is a comatose stare.
Jane gives an outstanding inspirational speech about life, work, putting out your best effort, and making decisions you won't regret.
NaOnka and Kelly are unmoved.
Marty is livid; Brenda is laughing; Alina is crying.
When you think it couldn't get anymore shocking...leave it to NaOnka. She has the audacity to say if not for her decision to quit she would have definitely won this season. I haven't seen Jeff this floored since Billy professed his love for Candice during the first TC in Cook Islands. Even the others at TC are unable to contain themselves.
Jeff has heard enough. Nay and Purple need to make their final decisions. But before doing so Jeff asks what should be done with their torches. NaOnka says "mush" hers. Kelly says snuff it. Jeff has something else in mind. With a last ditch effort of public humiliation he says their torches will be snuffed BUT we remain at TC so for future councils when they arrive as Jury members it will serve as reminders that they quit.
NaOnka is first to make a final decision. She quits. Her torch is snuffed, placed in full view, and told to go. Kelly is then told she now has a one-in-eight shot at a million dollars. Kelly quits. Her torch is snuffed, placed in full view, and told to leave.
The camera scans to the Jury...
Marty is livid; Brenda is laughing; Alina is crying.
In her parting words, I must admit, Kelly deserves a morsel of credit by apologizing for quitting and acknowledging the Jury members who still wanted to be in the game. Think we'll get the same humility from NaOnka??? Not a chance!
She boldly exclaimed she owes NO ONE an apology.
And to think we'll STILL have viewers who will contend that "editing" made NaOnka look bad. Mind-boggling!
NEXT TIME ON SURVIVOR...
We have the makings of a wild west shootout with four different castaways each wanting four different players voted out.
Yes I know this would be a copy job from Big Brother, but if there was ever an episode to show the newly ousted players arrive at the Ponderosa, this would be the one. To see the reception the quitters would get from Marty, Brenda, and Alina would be TWENTY TIMES better than anything the remaining seven could possibly provide.
AHHH, but that would be a decision made by Production...and I'm sure they're too busy finalizing their latest debacle of castaways for an upcoming season.
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