LAST EDITED ON 11-11-10 AT 11:14 PM (EST)
Grand Funk Hygiene - Night 22 on the Libertad Tour and the band is beginning to smell a little funky.
Back at camp after Tribal Council, Marty takes a scrambling paranoia solo, asking Sash and everyone else the musical question “Who wrote my name down?”
There’s also some reaction to Marty’s TC sour notes at the expense of Jane. This causes Jane to comment, “I’d like to take him to the woodshed and whup his ass.” (If you two don’t get any Survivor money, you might want to put that up on YouTube with a PayPal link. Lord knows Boston Rahb and Ambuh have done a lot worse.)
Speed Metal Band - In celebration of the olfactory assault coming from the bodies of the Survivors, the Reward Challenge is “The Three Little Pigs”. Survivors bust through walls made of hay, sticks and bricks. Along the way, they grab keys from corkscrewed metal rods (pigtails . . . get it?) and unlock three locks. Chase sits out, but decides to cast his fate with the women. The men win and go on a Canopy Tour & BBQ, otherwise known as the “What else can we dream up that will scare the crap out of Dan?” Tour. Dan mentions that there are “no zip lines in Brooklyn. If there are, you’re a burglar.”
Back at camp, Chase and the ladies commiserate, but now it’s Chase’s turn to drift into Brenda’s crosshairs. When NaOnka is talking to Chase she cautions him not to work her nerves. Of course the next shot shows Chase pestering Brenda with the Torture of a Thousand Stupid Questions. In the words of Expert Commentator NaOnka: “I told him 'Don’t go over there irking Brenda. Like for real.' And what does he do, he comes over and starts irking Brenda.”
Don’t Forget The Lyrics – Marty and Kelly bring in treemail that hints at the nature of the next challenge.
The clever rhyme goes something like this:
We’ve beaten and we’ve starved you
Some of you have wanted to quit
Jiffy will ask you questions
We're betting you can’t remember sh1@t
But don’t be too hard on the Writing Staff. They sat in their hut all day drinking Nicaraguan bat droppings coffee and eating Lil Debbie cakes, but nobody could come up with anything to rhyme with “Alzheimer’s”.
Our next solo comes from backup singer Jane, who warbles, “If Marty doesn’t win Immunity, the Fat Lady is going to be singing, I’ll tell you that much. And I ain’t fat… I’m gonna be the Fat Woman although I’m not fat.”
The look on Jane’s face clearly says, “Dang! That sounded so much better in my head when I stayed up all night working it out.”
The challenge is a sleepy little lullaby, so I’ll jump to the last 8 bars; Brenda wins Individual Immunity.
The Songwriting Team of BenFab – Saying that Benry and Fabio are the perfect pair for a strategy meeting
is like saying that Britney Spears doesn’t really need AutoTune. Consider this Power Ballad that they sing to each other:
Benry: We have to flush out the idol. The sooner we can get rid of NaOnka the better.
Fabio: We gotta make sure NaOnka flushes that Idol tonight.
Benry: You and I should just lay low. Say we’re voting NaOnka and play stupid.
Fabio: I know. But dude, I hate playing stupid so much. But it’s the smartest thing to do right now.
Benry: Yeah. It’s easy.
Fabio: It’s real easy.
Getting Some Studio Time at Tribal Council – Record Producer Jiffy tries to goose some high notes out of NaOnka and Marty.
Nay: Jeff, I’m not perfect. I’m a humanitarian. I’m a human. I screw up. Marty screws up too. But I don’t like him, he don’t like me
so it is what it is.
Jiffy – So you don’t like Marty because he strategizes.
Nay – I don’t like him! Just don’t! His hair, his walk . . . sucks. You know, I can see through Marty.
So as Fabio keeps the percussive beat going with a palm slap to his own forehead and a “This is crazy!” they vote.
Transparent and pimp-walkin’ Marty loses his contract at “Blindside Records” and the Survivor Band plays him off to Loser’s Lodge.
Mark "Just humming along" Burnett