LAST EDITED ON 09-25-10 AT 06:35 PM (EST)
Hello again, basher buddies, aliciabbrown here, back to summarize the latest installment of Survivor: Looney Tunes. Let’s get this out of the way right now!
PREVIOUSLY ON SURVIVOR
Twenty criminally insane Americans were dropped off in a remote part of Nicaragua without food, bedding or medication. The tribes were divided by age: 40 and older in one tribe (Expirada), 30 and younger in the other (The Floored). The older group included celebrity Coach J, who was disappointed in the tribal division because he was hoping some of the youngsters would carry him. However, he did his coaching thing and most of his tribemates fell under his spell.
Shannon wanted to be the Big Dog on the younger tribe. Chase made conflicting alliances with him and Brenda. KB revealed her prosthetic leg to her tribemates, which made her a target. Holly immediately wanted to make an alliance with Windy, but then reconsidered when Expirada lost immunity (after declining to use their Medallion of Power advantage) and Windy was on the block. Windy took a shovel to tribal council and dug her own grave by not knowing when to STFU, but dropped her shovel in the TC area. Nineteen are left, who will be voted out and/or killed tonight?
Nobody at Expirada has gotten any sleep because of their pathetic excuse for a shelter. Coach J calls the team meeting to order: first item on the agenda is what to do with the shelter. They will rearrange the bamboo, latch it up and put the bedding in. Coach gives everyone their assignments for the day. He wants the crabby fisherman to help with the roof, but Crabby isn’t having any of that. He walks away to go fishing. Marty says uh, whatever JJ you’re the man, so the target will fall on the leader when the time comes to vote someone out.
Meanwhile, The Floored are also still adjusting to their new surroundings. The purple chick has never gone this long without showering or brushing her teeth, but Fabio has (thanks for sharing). Nay’Bonkers says none of the guys have paid any attention to her, but she likes Sash a whole lot. His dad is Jamaican so he wants to bring the minorities to the end. They want to bring in Single Brenda for a minority alliance because she’s smart. KB is a big threat and no one wants to go to the end with her. (I love the way these people plan their end-game on Day 4 when they’re never guaranteed to survive the next tribal council!) Bonkers says KB is a charity case and she has to go because this is MY show and she’s taking attention away from MEEEEEEEEEE!
Expirada tries eating snails. The voices in Holly’s head tell her they aren’t edible and your tribemates are stupid if they think they can eat these things. She then proceeds to go batsh*t crazy on her tribe by grabbing the bucket and dumping the snails out. Everyone is looking at each other and saying WTF? Holly is angry because those alligator shoes with the New York accent are making fun of her, so she decides to de-stress herself by filling the shoes up with sand and sinking them into the water. She’s not going to let a pair of freakin’ shoes talk about her like that!
Dan the Don’s alligator shoes are missing, much to the surprise of his tribemates. Thankfully, those are just his cheap little $1600 shoes – he’s not stupid enough to wear his good shoes in the jungle! Holly starts feeling guilty and says the game is turning her into someone she’s not, so she decides to come clean. She fesses up to the group and apologizes to The Don. Her friend Crabby says he accepts that, but The Don isn’t ready to forgive just yet. He makes a point of telling us that he was born and raised in Brooklyn, and if she were a guy he would knock her right out. Since he can’t do that, he will just have to find a phone and call one of his “friends” back home to handle her after the game. The Don is not going to forgive Holly, can’t trust her and doesn’t see how the others can. Then Tyrone returns to delight us with more of his great facial expressions. He thinks Holly is seriously nutzoid, and shares his strategy with us: Im’a keep one eye on her and one eye on my shoes (shifts eyes back and forth). Keep those great one-liners coming, Buddy!
Back at The Floored, the voices in Bonkers’ head tell her that someone has stolen her sock. (Was Holly anywhere near the footwear at the last challenge?) The sock grew some damn feet and walked away, bitches! Shannon says that’s crap, but then Shannon says everything is crap. Bonkers dares anyone to play dirty with her. She found another pair of socks so she took them. Fabio can’t find his spare socks. Shannon says Bonkers is wearing them, dummy. Fab confronts her, but she will not be upstaged! What you lookin’ at me like that for, you ain’t gotta have no attitude! Why you raisin’ your voice to me I can get loud too! Bonkers doesn’t like anything about Fabio. She doesn’t want people thinking she’s a B-I-T-C-H (T-O-O L-A-T-E), but the boy is stupid. They may laugh at his jokes, but she is laughing because she will single-handedly vote him out all by herself! Needless to say, Fab can’t wait for her to go home.
At Expirada, Coach gives Holly a pep talk. She doesn’t think she can do this now, and has never failed at anything in her life. This is no different than a football player wanting to quit the team. Vince Lombardi said fatigue makes cowards of us all. He tells her to go in there and win one for The Gipper. She doesn’t want to let her tribe down, so she will keep her head up. The meltdown will either carry her through (all the way back to the psych ward) or hurt her.
DAY 6 – THE CHALLENGE
The Floored march like army ants to the combined reward/immunity challenge, then Expirada straggles on in. Immunity is back up for grabs. Race through the mud, look for a ball in a haystack, collect all four and unwind them, bounce from player to player until it lands in a barrel. First tribe to get all four balls in wins. Reward is your choice between a tarp or fishing gear. The MOP enables Expirada to start with one ball in the barrel, and they can sit out one weak person (The Don). Bonkers, the PE teacher, sits out for The Floored.
KB performs beautifully in the challenge and doesn’t let the prosthetic leg slow her down at all. In spite of her best efforts, however, Expirada wins immunity and reward. That’s what Marty calls kickin’ azz! Old School Rules! They opt for the fishing gear. Jiffy reminds The Floored of their tribal council date.
Expirada is savoring their first victory, as Tyrone and Jane do the bump. Holly is glad now she didn’t quit. Coach J is glad she’s feeling better, but is worried about her having a second setback. They find a note in the box of fishing gear. It is a clue for the Hidden Immunity Idol (which is no more “hidden” than last season, it’s just not being handed to Russell this time). It’s a bunch of cryptic pictures so they’re trying to solve the puzzle. First clue is 15 yards due west of a tree, so everyone starts digging around random trees. Jill figures out it’s 15 yards west of tree mail. She tells Marty because she wants to align with him. Marty is shocked that she gave him the clue. The Don is also standing there so he is in on it, too. Everyone has seen them there digging, so they have to find it! Marty picks it up and says, “I’ve got the idol.” Then he notices Jill standing there and says, “WE have the idol.” He wouldn’t have found it without Jill so he reluctantly shares it with her.
The Floored know that it’s not going to be a fun night. The girls were awesome in the challenge. KB dominated and showed she was just as athletic as the others. Bonkers said she sat out the challenge just to see if KB would use her leg as an excuse. (It had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that Bonkers is lazy, that’s just a coincidence.) She was very proud that KB hung in there, even though she doesn’t like that attention-grabbing artificial leg. Alina and KB decide that nobody likes Bonkers so she will be an easy boot later. They want to target Brenda to break her and Chase up.
Fab wants to write down Bonkers and the other guys agree. KB tells the guys Brenda is more of a threat. Shannon notices Chase going off with Brenda, so he is concerned about her taking his little buddy away. Dude, Brenda’s clinging to you because she is trying to play yo’ azz. Gotta take Brenda out first. Chase is in a mess, prayed that God would give him someone he could trust. He thought Brenda was it. Shannon wants her out, so he is caught between alliances.
Bonkers and Brenda are talking in the water. Shannon is the ring leader. He hasn’t said squat to either of them. They want to get Shannon out because he is so cocky. Bonkers wants Fab gone next because he rubs her the wrong way. He doesn’t have to go tonight because he is really not a threat to anyone except himself. Shannon is talking to everybody but them. He has built his own stepping stone to the grave at TC. Brenda trusts Bonkers and Sash. She can get Purple, and she’s really tight with Chase. They’re taking Shannon out.
Chase tells Brenda the other alliance (Shannon, Alina, Fabio, Ben, KB) wants her gone first. Chase doesn’t feel right about Shannon. Brenda wants to take him out first because he’s calling the shots, so why don’t we take him out first. Alina overhears all this. Chase trusts Brenda and wants to keep her. Maybe a tie, five for Brenda and five for Shannon. Alina says her alliance is screwed because Brenda has Chase by the cojones. No one is sure where Chase stands, including Chase. Shannon says either Brenda will go home tonight or he has a big target on his own back. Either way, somebody will be eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches tonight.
WELCOME TO TRIBAL COUNCIL!
Shannon, how much more difficult is this than you anticipated? Shannon opens up a huge barrel of whoopass, picks up Windy’s shovel and starts digging. He’s not getting any love from Chase, who better hope his girlfriend stays with him. Chase says he trusted Brenda and Ben. Shannon thought Chase had his back. Chase admits he’s torn between two alliances. Shannon says Chase is lying and going both ways.
Fabio: Shannon, STFU!
Shannon says if he goes Chase goes next. Brenda says Shannon’s weakness is exposed and no one trusts him. KB says she trusts him.
Jiffy: Shannon, STFU!
Shannon says he’s just the kind of person who doesn’t STFU.
Sash: Shannon, STFU!
Then Shannon dives head-first into the freshly-dug hole by addressing Sash: Are you gay? Everyone rolls their eyes except Brenda, who is clearly enjoying all of this. Shannon and Sash argue over who has had the hotter girlfriends, then Einstein informs all of us that New York is full of gay people.
Fabio: Shannon, STFU already!!!
Alina thought she trusted Chase, but he lied to her. Ben says the two alliances happened so fast so he doesn’t know who to trust. Brenda says she’s a target because Shannon wants to take out a strong girl. Bonkers was the original target. The ghetto drama queen then strikes her best ghetto dumdum pose and tells Fab she don’t like him. Every time she says something to him he tells her she’s dumb and she’s not going to STFU either!
Fabio: Can we vote now? For once Bonkers agrees with him.
Fabio counts on his fingers, eeny meeny miney moe, and then writes Brenda’s name down. Brenda votes Shannon because it’s either her or him. Shannon predictably votes Brenda. Sash votes Shannon, says he messed with the wrong New York bachelor, hasta la vista!
Jiffy goes to tally the votes:
Second person voted out: Shannon, the tribe has spoken. Long past time for you to go!!! Jiffy snuffs his torch and Shannon drops the shovel for the next bootee.
Jiffy paraphrases FDR: the biggest threat to this tribe is the tribe itself.
Shannon, Fabio and Alina voted for Brenda; everyone else voted for Shannon (Benry and KB flipped).
SHANNON’S FINAL WORDS
I’m too grown up to play with these kids. I should have been on the other tribe. I’m actually 41 years old because I’ve been married 11 years and that makes me 11 years older. (Dude, I know your wife just LOVED that last comment! Go eat your PB&J and hang out with the Goat Lady for a while.)
The Floored face a game changing decision with the MOP. Expirada’s Coach J tries to recruit monkeys out of the trees. (We thought Holly was crazy!!??) Nay goes Bonkers again: I’ll push you so hard that damn leg will fly off. (Personally, I would like to see KB rip the leg off and smack Bonkers right upside the head with it and give her the attitude adjustment that she sooooooooo desperately needs. Now THAT would be good TV )
Yeah, I know, I need to go take my meds. Till next time my friends, peace out.