LAST EDITED ON 02-17-10 AT 03:12 AM (EST)
LAST EDITED ON 02-17-10 AT 03:09 AM (EST)
Here's a little sumthin-sumthin, better than nuttin.
In case you missed it, this summary will take far less than the 2 hours to catch up.
"Heroes" fly in on a chopper. After welcoming hugs, they ooh and aah as the "Villians" fly in.
JP engages both in senseless chit-chat. Villians don't believe any of them are actually villians; crazy people also don't think they are crazy in a wild coincidence. Oh, except Jerri, whose entire villianous resume is a lie about beef jerky. Roston Bob, as Sandra would gloss, says the villians don't have to deal with the "egos over there." Hahaha....
We go immediately into a reward challenge, which amounts to 2 person rugby with a buried ball. Coach owns Colby. Sandra owns Sugar's bra, but Sugar is oblivious and so are we since the blur covers better than a bikini top anyway. Stephanie's shoulder is knocked loose and then reset, but that is all in a day's work and of no matter. Rupert's pinky toe gets mashed, and that becomes for him what a hangover during my golf round is for me- a ready-made scapegoat for all debacles to follow.
Heroes win Fire, because that's what heroes do, and all is right with the world.
Heroes return to camp and celebrate their victory and laugh about their injuries. As JT says, its hilarious to watch people get injured as long as it isn't you. Heroes organize, make decisions and build shelter about 100 times better than FEMA. Their merriment reaches a fever pitch when 4 chickens so conveniently land in their hands that it only could have been more convenient if they came in a bucket with a side of mash. Colby basically remarks that the Villians might as well go home, this is pretty much over.
At Villians camp, Russell remarks that losing doesn't bother him because that's what losers do, afterall. Roston Bob complains that everyone on his tribe is lazy and dimwitted. Randy is ticked because with Bob taking his confessionals he no longer serves any justifiable purpose. Coach and Jerri both find someone who can tolerate them. And the Villians continue to accomplish nothing because we all know villians don't work. They spend their days thinking of villiany, or marketing slogans.
Then Roston Bob decides to do something about it by suggesting they build fire even without production handing it to them. Randy sees his chance and informs us all that fire and water are immaterial to survival, and that it is impossible to make fire without production giving it to you. Afterall, before Survivor, and matches, there never was fire; our ancestors only cooked using the microwave.
Bob makes fire thru method too complicated to explain. The Villians find a leader and become 80% of a tribe.
We go to the Immunity Challenge. Both tribes have to assemble boats, row out to light a fire, and then return to complete a puzzle. The Heroes work well together again and have a huge lead into the puzzle, but they might as well have not shown up because only someone with villiany on the mind or someone capable of making fire by rubbing sticks together is capable of solving the puzzle. Villians win. Heroes depart in shame.
Villians return to camp and laugh uproariously.
Heroes return to camp and mull over who goes home. Sugar suggests Amanda. Colby says Sugar. Tom says Cirie. Cirie says Tom or Stephanie. JT says anyone but him or Stephen. They tramp to Tribal Council.
JP reminds everyone how horrible they were at the puzzle. He explains his 7 year old niece solved it in 45 seconds. He then goes over reasons to vote for nearly everyone, especially Sugar because she failed at the puzzle, and tried to cuddle with Colby, and because she cries a lot, all pretty much equally unacceptable. Everyone agrees. Sugar goes home. JP admits the season has lost............ yeah, not much.