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"What a life he leads"
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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 08:18 AM (EST)
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"What a life he leads"
As found by Snidget and brought to its own thread, here's the Benji Story in Benji's Own Words.

I am not responsible for any brain damage you may suffer from repeatedly ramming your head into the nearest available object.

http://www.petewadeshow.com/whoarewe.htm

For all those of you who've been claiming the man hasn't been caught in a lie yet, I've got two words: 'live bait'.

Don't you wish you knew what his type was just so you could be sure you weren't it?

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: What a life he leads Snidget 04-20-09 1
   I've been saying this a lot lately. Estee 04-20-09 4
 Lie #1 newsomewayne 04-20-09 2
   RE: Lie #1 Estee 04-20-09 3
   RE: Lie #1 mrc 04-20-09 11
 RE: What a life he leads jbug 04-20-09 5
   RE: What a life he leads PepeLePew13 04-20-09 22
       RE: What a life he leads cipher5150 04-21-09 29
   RE: What a life he leads Brownroach 04-24-09 40
 gah! suzzee 04-20-09 6
 RE: What a life he leads more_cowbell 04-20-09 7
   RE: What a life he leads mindy23 04-20-09 8
       RE: What a life he leads more_cowbell 04-20-09 10
   RE: What a life he leads Estee 04-20-09 9
       RE: What a life he leads more_cowbell 04-20-09 13
           RE: What a life he leads Estee 04-20-09 14
               RE: What a life he leads more_cowbell 04-20-09 20
   RE: What a life he leads Snidget 04-20-09 12
   RE: What a life he leads newsomewayne 04-20-09 15
       RE: What a life he leads Snidget 04-20-09 16
       RE: What a life he leads Prof_ Wagstaff 04-20-09 24
   RE: What a life he leads J Slice 04-20-09 18
   RE: What a life he leads RudyRules 04-22-09 39
   RE: What a life he leads bostonrobfan 04-25-09 43
 RE: What a life he leads dabo 04-20-09 17
 RE: What a life he leads more_cowbell 04-20-09 19
   RE: What a life he leads J Slice 04-20-09 21
 RE: What a life he leads CTgirl 04-20-09 23
 RE: What a life he leads Colonel Zoidberg 04-20-09 25
   RE: What a life he leads Estee 04-20-09 26
 Suing for deprivation of character.... kingfish 04-21-09 27
 RE: What a life he leads more_cowbell 04-21-09 28
   RE: What a life he leads Estee 04-21-09 30
       RE: What a life he leads nerovh 04-21-09 31
           RE: What a life he leads Estee 04-21-09 32
       RE: What a life he leads suzzee 04-21-09 33
       RE: What a life he leads kingfish 04-21-09 34
           Disagree Estee 04-21-09 35
               RE: Disagree nerovh 04-21-09 36
                   RE: Disagree citywitch 04-22-09 37
               RE: Disagree kingfish 04-22-09 38
           RE: What a life he leads Brownroach 04-24-09 41
               RE: What a life he leads kingfish 04-24-09 42
                   RE: What a life he leads suzzee 04-25-09 45
   RE: What a life he leads bostonrobfan 04-25-09 44
 Brain bleach, aisle 2... more_cowbell 04-27-09 46
   The rarely-seen taste of the Americ... Estee 04-27-09 47
   RE: Brain bleach, aisle 2... Brownroach 04-27-09 48
   RE: Brain bleach, aisle 2... EmeraldBrooch 05-01-09 49
 RE: What a life he leads more_cowbell 05-04-09 50
   RE: What a life he leads Estee 05-05-09 51
 And this one time, at band camp.... more_cowbell 05-14-09 52
   RE: And this one time, at band camp... jbug 05-14-09 53
       RE: And this one time, at band camp... more_cowbell 05-15-09 57
           RE: And this one time, at band camp... Prof_ Wagstaff 05-15-09 58
           RE: And this one time, at band camp... jbug 05-15-09 59
               RE: And this one time, at band camp... Prof_ Wagstaff 05-15-09 60
                   RE: And this one time, at band camp... jbug 05-15-09 66
 Jeff got the good Kool-Aid. Estee 05-15-09 54
 15 more minutes of Coach Wade Prof_ Wagstaff 05-15-09 55
   RE: 15 more minutes of Coach Wade Estee 05-15-09 56
   RE: 15 more minutes of Coach Wade PsychoKitty 05-15-09 64
 From Reality News Online interview Brownroach 05-15-09 61
   RE: From Reality News Online interv... Snidget 05-15-09 62
   RE: From Reality News Online interv... more_cowbell 05-15-09 63
       RE: From Reality News Online interv... Ahtumbreez 05-18-09 69
 RE: What a life he leads PsychoKitty 05-15-09 65
 RE: What a life he leads more_cowbell 05-18-09 67
   RE: What a life he leads dabo 05-18-09 68
   RE: What a life he leads cipher5150 05-18-09 70
       RE: What a life he leads Snidget 05-18-09 71
           RE: What a life he leads newsomewayne 05-18-09 72
               RE: What a life he leads mrc 05-18-09 73
                   RE: What a life he leads more_cowbell 05-18-09 74
                       RE: What a life he leads mindy23 05-18-09 75
   RE: What a life he leads Colonel Zoidberg 05-18-09 76

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 08:39 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: What a life he leads"
You just had to give me credit didn't you?


*hides*

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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 09:28 AM (EST)
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4. "I've been saying this a lot lately."
Hi. I'm Estee.
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newsomewayne 9065 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 09:08 AM (EST)
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2. "Lie #1"
Probably.

The family lived in Communist Russia for six months in 1977 while William, fluent in Russian, worked at Moscow State University teaching and researching mathematics...

By 1978, their father had made a significant amount of money from his work at UTK and ORNL

In the middle of the Cold War, I highly doubt one could go from working in Russia one year to working at one of the most secure facilities in the country the next. It just wouldn't happen.

Oak Ridge wasn't dubbed the Secret City during WWII for nothing.


Fear the reaper.
"The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money." - Margaret Thatcher

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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 09:27 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: Lie #1"
LAST EDITED ON 04-20-09 AT 12:06 PM (EST)

Good spot. It's not impossible, but it's a really low probability event.

Of course, the Wade boys' first defense would be probably be to claim their father was a world-famous international spy.

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mrc 10020 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 11:25 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: Lie #1"
It depends. He might have been a visiting professor, which is not uncommon, in 1977. The bio says that he was a consultant for Oak Ridge, which is a bit different from working there.

Regardless, Coach is an idiot and a liar.

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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 10:21 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: What a life he leads"
Ben embarked on a kayaking voyage along the Pacific Coast that would set a Guinness World Record for the longest distance ever traveled in a kayak at 6,132 miles, fraught with shark and whale encounters, boredom, loneliness and delirium. The trek ended when Ben was poisoned by drinking water he had purchased in a village that had apparently been stored in a gasoline drum. Near death, he was found floating in his kayak off the coast of South America by relatives of recording artist Linda Ronstadt who were navigating a yacht in the area.

I've been searching Guinness World Records and have found nothing on Ben Wade.

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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 03:38 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: What a life he leads"
You wouldn't. It said "would set" a Guinness world record and later said "The trek ended..." indicating that the attempt failed and he came up short when he got thrown back by the sharks who decided his carcass was too stringy to eat.
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cipher5150 166 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-09, 01:14 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: What a life he leads"
His bio on the Susanville Symphony Orchestra web page (which he founded, natch) says he set the world record.

http://www.susanvillesymphony.com/maestro.html

You’ll be glad to know that the CoachBenWade web site is currently under construction. I can hardly wait!!!

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Brownroach 14241 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-09, 04:10 PM (EST)
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40. "RE: What a life he leads"
The trek ended when Ben was poisoned by drinking water he had purchased in a village that had apparently been stored in a gasoline drum.

The village was inside a gasoline drum? It must have been that same Amazon pygmy village where he had the other trouble...



A tribe glows in Brooklyn

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 10:26 AM (EST)
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6. "gah!"
For the self preservation of my sanity I have to decline. I tried but just couldn't do it.


Fear and Loathing Tribe style 2008

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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 10:57 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: What a life he leads"
LAST EDITED ON 04-20-09 AT 11:07 AM (EST)

Just about everything this guy says is an exaggeration or a fabrication. Fiction is stranger than truth...

Lie #2: "One of his proudest accomplishments came in 1996, when he set the world’s record for the longest solo kayak expedition (6,132 miles) when he paddled from San Felipe, BC to Punta Charambira, Colombia."

The world record is actually held by Paul Caffyn, who circumnavigated Australia in 1981, a distance of 9,420 miles. In a Paddler magazine article ranking the top ten greatest sea kayak expeditions of all time, Ben Wade's trip isn't even mentioned.

Lie #3: "Ben was...named the best trumpeter in the world under 18 by the International Trumpet Guild in 1986".

"Hailed as one of the best young trumpet players in the world, after winning the prestigious International Trumpet Guild Competition CG Conn Award..." (Susanville Symphony website)

Not even close. He didn't enter the ITG competition in 1986, let alone win it. So, not the "best young trumpet player in the world" that year. As for the "prestigious" CG Conn scholarship, it's one of a dime a dozen given out to high school students attending the yearly ITG conference. All that's required is to submit a tape, and a recommendation from a high school music teacher. The "scholarship" just means that they waive the conference fee. (Source: trumpetherald.com)

I'm sure he was a decent player as a kid, but the best under 18? If he really was a world-beating musician, don't you think he'd be sitting first chair with a major metropolitan symphony, instead of getting fired from a string of small college soccer coaching jobs?

Lie #4: All that mumbo jumbo about Chongg Ran. Posters at the Fans of Reality TV message board have debunked this one:

"Coach says he was doing Chongg Ran, and that if you do a search on it, you won’t find it, because it’s passed down verbally and you have to go to a monastery to study it. Oh really? That’s funny, because I actually remember a reference to Chongg Ran in my reading. Was it from an ancient Asian text, you ask? Why, no! It was in “The Book of the Dead,” a thriller novel by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child, the duo who wrote “Relic,” if you remember that particular “monster unleashed in a museum” novel, which was made into a movie. I have all the Preston/Child books, they’re not high literature but they’re entertaining.

Interestingly enough, I also took Coach’s challenge to google it, and on a page about the Preston/Child books I found this: “Although Chongg Ran certainly can have its real equivalent in Eastern religion, the practice with this particular name is an invention of the authors.” Bwahahahaha, busted!"

(Side note: Chongg Ran is better-known in some Eastern circles as Dou Che. It's handed down anally, so don't bother googling it.)

Lie #5: According to folks at Survivor Sucks: "Ben Wade also claims on his website that he survived a hurricane with mammoth waves and that at the top of a 30 foot wave, "God" spoke to him and saved him. The area he claims he survived the hurricane is the Mexican port of Portolabombo which according to the viewer, is not a hurricane ravaged area and has only recorded one tropical storm since 1939."

Lie #6: You'd think someone who untied himself after being beaten by tush-eating pygmies would be a little less baffled by rope challenges.

Lies #7 and 8: He admitted he lied to his soccer team about leaving to have brain tumor tests done. He also bragged about deceiving his players into thinking they'd get scholarships, and then not offering them a dime.

A group of girls that he scammed got together to complain, as reported in the Lassen County Times.

Lie #9: "...they embarked on a path that would unexpectedly lead to a shot at the title of most traveled human within the United States."

"A shot at" is not the same thing as actually having the title. I, too, have a shot at winning a Nobel Prize in literature. A very, very, very, very long shot.

Lie #10: "The trek ended when Ben was poisoned by drinking water he had purchased in a village that had apparently been stored in a gasoline drum. Near death, he was found floating in his kayak off the coast of South America by relatives of recording artist Linda Ronstadt who were navigating a yacht in the area."

This may or may not be a lie, but the last sentence made tea snort out of my nose. Thank you for posting this, Estee and Snidget.


Final verdict: Pants On Fire

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mindy23 1319 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 11:08 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: What a life he leads"
God's honest truth: I gave allergy shots once to Lynda Rondstand's cousin. Don't bother googling it-it's something that's only handed down family to family.....

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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 11:17 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: What a life he leads"
Cool...Did Linda Ronstadt's cousin break out in hives after hauling Coach's gasoline-soaked carcass out of the ocean?
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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 11:13 AM (EST)
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9. "RE: What a life he leads"
Welcome to the board, and great work on the spot research. (Think of it as having increased your chances for the Pulitzer in investigative reporting.) We're clearly dealing with a Piece Of Work here.

...well, we're clearly dealing with a Piece Of Something.

At least he didn't claim to be the world's foremost master of Sinanju.

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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 11:53 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: What a life he leads"
Thank you! I share your white-hot hatred of That Which Is Coach. I've been reading these boards since Season 1, and had to come out of lurkdom to vent.

I heard he not only invented Sinanju, but he controls bees with his mind and keeps asteroids away from the Earth.

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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 12:16 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: What a life he leads"
LAST EDITED ON 04-20-09 AT 12:59 PM (EST)

he not only invented Sinanju

Funny -- he doesn't look Korean.

(But he is a pale piece of pig's ear.)

So there's the silver lining: he's making people delurk.

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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 02:33 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: What a life he leads"
>
>So there's the silver lining:
> he's making people delurk.

>

On the truck, Coach told me with his eyes to join this board.

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 11:43 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: What a life he leads"
Wow, thanks for digging into all that.

Now I know a little bit about Chinese Internal Martial Arts but when he did the whole secret thing in this one monastery that you can't find referenced anywhere my BS meter blew.

While there is hidden knowledge and secrets only passed on to adepts and things like that, most of the stuff that really has been around for a long time at least has a few passing mentions in actual Chinese or Tibetan literature that we know was written at least a few centuries ago.

Assuming some of the Chinese cultural stuff also holds true in Tibet most of the "it is super secret only I can teach it to you" translates to "I made this stuff up and have to make it sound ancient to get people to pay me." Those cultures rarely like newly made up stuff, ancient stuff is supposed to be the best, so there is always some scroll that was found in some ancient pot somewhere that they just barely had time to translate before it turned to dust. I suspect the oral tradition works better on selling the stuff to the Westerners looking for adventure, or superiority.

Anyway. I'm sure there are meditative techniques, some of which look surprisingly just like the modern yoga I see them teaching at my gym that are used in Tibet. There was a fair amount of cross pollination of ideas between India and China, but much of what is "ancient knowledge" is what someone logically put together in modern times wrapped up with enough principles that are from ancient texts to make it sound good. The stuff that is useful usually seems to get a fair amount of people doing it because that stuff actually seems to work.

At least my rare form of Qi Gong I do is one that is widely known of by legends from older writings. They even showed the famous cave that is in the story on NBC during the Olympics. I totally geeked out in my living room over that.

Just fits my suspicion that most of Coach's life story is a badly written fan fic.

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newsomewayne 9065 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 12:37 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: What a life he leads"
You? are my new favorite poster.

after being beaten by tush-eating pygmies

I am pretty certain this was a mistranslation on Coach's part due in no small part to his beaten, dehydrated condition. He heard the pygmies discuss eating his a-hole. In actuality, what they said was, "Are we really gonna eat this a-hole?"


Fear the reaper.
"The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money." - Margaret Thatcher

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 12:43 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: What a life he leads"
Maybe it was the kids from the tribe sitting around complaining.

I can't believe they are actually going to make us eat this bleep-hole. Why can't we go to the food court like normal people.


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Prof_ Wagstaff 4196 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 07:49 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: What a life he leads"
You? are my new favorite poster.

If I didn't have a rock solid rule to never agree with Wayne, I'd say the same thing.

I'll just say that you waited waaaaay too long to make your first post.

Welcome.


14 Carrot Sig by Tribephyl

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J Slice 13166 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 01:18 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: What a life he leads"
Cowbell -

Thank you so very much for posting here.

I have made a gift for you to cavort and caper with.

Please post more. Particularly if you are ripping Coach.


Because this is closer to how I look...

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RudyRules 8360 desperate attention whore postings
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04-22-09, 08:06 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: What a life he leads"
GREAT POST!
Welcome aboard!



Yup, it's an Agman creation!
"Them people had to be pretty dumb to make their camp in a riverbed." - Rudy Boesch
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bostonrobfan 490 desperate attention whore postings
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04-25-09, 00:41 AM (EST)
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43. "RE: What a life he leads"
Great job on the research! And thanks for the laughs!


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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 12:59 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: What a life he leads"
Oh, come on, who says "no" to National Geographic?

Certainly not Lewis and Clark, not even the one member of the expidition who died on the trip.

Um-kay, I'm like really Prussian and Viking and all, I got dragonslayer genes doncha know. And I got Scot genes too, and by golly my great-great-great grandaddy married Sacagawea's half-French son's third daughter, who also had some Conquistator blood.

And I play the trombone.

Waa-uu-uu-waaaah!!!

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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 02:23 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: What a life he leads"
Thank you for the beauteous sig banner, J Slice! That's the nicest thing that's happened to me all day.

Just fits my suspicion that most of Coach's life story is a badly written fan fic.

Definitely. He's the ultimate Mary Sue (or Gary Stu, rather).

"There I was, in Zanzibar....surrounded by Zulus..."

"...but fortunately, I had a sousaphone concealed in my fanny pack..."


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J Slice 13166 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 03:22 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: What a life he leads"
Definitely. He's the ultimate Mary Sue (or Gary Stu, rather).

O RLY?


Wesley Crusher, should you not be as nerdly as me. Although Coach is definitely up there. There may well be a place for him on Star Trek. Like, say, in the vacuum of space, for instance.

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CTgirl 7073 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 04:12 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: What a life he leads"
I guess they should be called the "superlative" brothers. Wow, they're just so amazing and record-setting and acclaimed and astounding! Actually I couldn't finish reading it, it was so over the top.

Funniest thing: siblings named Cheryl and Deryl. I guess Coach gets his creativity from his grandmother, LOL.

Welcome to the boards more cowbell! Great first post and great user name.

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Colonel Zoidberg 3645 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 10:36 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: What a life he leads"
Damn...and here I was thinking that I had Coach by the shorthairs because there's no such thing as the Wade-Wade theorem (OK, I'm a math geek) and it looks like I'm merely stepping on the charred carcass whereas the rest of the posters here have already burned him at the stake.

If Coach's story is true, then I'd like to tell everyone here the story of how I got this Stanley Cup ring - see, I was playing in the Western Conference Finals on one knee when this guy in an Avalanche uniform tried to decapitate me with a stick...

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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 10:44 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: What a life he leads"
and it looks like I'm merely stepping on the charred carcass whereas the rest of the posters here have already burned him at the stake

Don't worry. If we've established anything this season, it's that you can never kill Coach enough.

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-09, 08:57 AM (EST)
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27. "Suing for deprivation of character...."
I just wanna say, if Coach tries to steal one more story from me, why, I'll sue. I will put this Law degree from Stanford to work at last, if I can finish discovering the North and South poles and the outer planets first.

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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-09, 12:58 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: What a life he leads"
Coach is pure comedy gold. The lies! They will not stop!

You've probably heard about his new book, "A Voyage Beyond Reason". It's based on diaries of his kayak trip which were (supposedly) "found in the cliffs of Columbia" by a guy named Tom Gauthier, who happened to be on a surveying expedition. Gauthier was so moved by the wisdom contained in the journals, he ghost-wrote a novel based on Ben's exploits. It's published by Outskirts press, a pay-to-publish vanity outfit that offers PR packages in exchange for author fees ranging from $300 - $1000.

At Amazon, the book currently has 3 one star reviews and 1 five star review. The five star review is by...you guessed it....Tom Gauthier:

Before Ben Wade was a cast member on Survivor-Tocantins ('coach') he had a real life survivor challenge. My readers who purchased the book tell me this story is hard hitting, page burning, beautifully woven tale of "young muscle against an old sea and a young mind against ancient sources of madness." The revues listed under the expensive edition bear this out!

Sounds like the author takes after his subject. How egotistical do you have to be to review your own book?!

An excerpt from "Voyage Beyond Reason" can be found here:

http://outskirtspress.com/webpage.php?ISBN=9781432712341

As you might expect, the writing style is smug and overblown. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find two true statements in the excerpt:

All around the ocean rose up in rage, trying to rid herself of this hapless invader.

Foolish man.

In case you were wondering, "Voyage into Mythomania" actually comes with its own trailer. Because that's not pretentious, or anything. According to the producers, the story of Ben is "a multilayered mystery that took years to solve". (I'm thinking they should've called it Ben Wade: Samurai Lasagna)

Voyage Beyond Absurdity: The Book: The Trailer

Check out the image of his diary at 0:13. Note the hand-drawn kayak stick figure in the margin, being attacked by a shark. The caption says YEAH!!

So, there's an awful lot of plot holes in this kayak trip:

Hole #1: There's scant outside documentary evidence for this trip, and not very many photos. In one photo I saw, supposedly taken mid-trip, he's tanned, muscular, rested, and his hair is gelled. Two weeks on Survivor, on the other hand, and his hair is grey, his internal organs are eating themselves, and he can barely stand upright in the challenges.

Hole #2: We've seen plenty of pictures of him with his shirt off on Survivor, and yet he seems totally smooth-skinned. Where are all the scars from the shark attacks, jaguar attacks, piranha attacks, pygmy beatings, etc.? Supposedly the shark bit him on the left arm and left a tooth embedded there, but I can't see any evidence of a scar. Shark bite scars are huge, nasty, jagged things. You don't need a magnifying glass to see them.

Hole #3: Operational costs for military helicopters are on the order of tens of thousands of dollars per hour. There's NO WAY any civilian could "call in a favor" and get an Air Force helicopter to drop them anywhere, much less in the middle of the jungle. Maybe the President could, on a matter of urgent national security. But not some random 24-year-old kid going on a vision quest.

Hole #4: It would be impossible to navigate an 18' sea kayak in treacherous white water rapids filled with rocks. They simply aren't designed for that. It would also be impossible to keep enough fresh drinking water aboard to last for 7 - 8 days at a time, as he claimed.

Hole #5: Ben claims a 30-foot wave took him by surprise in a hurricane off the coast of Mexico, and he didn't have time to put his life vest on. Kayaking without a life vest in a hurricane = Colossal Tool. Or Total Baloney. We report, you decide.

Hole #6: How did he understand the cannibal pygmies when they were discussing eating his heinie? Did they speak English, or did he use his amazing renaissance man powers to master their language in half an hour?

Hole #7: After all those "severe beatings", he didn't have a concussion or broken bones, and was able to run to his kayak, which happened to be nearby, and paddle away like the wind?

Hole #8: Why didn't he just open a can of Chongg Ran on their four-foot-high butts?

But wait! There's more! Here's two comments from people who've met him in person...

At least he didn’t try to pull the line like he did when he was at Simpson (Redding, CA), that he’d been a starting first baseman for the University of Tennessee. This is when he was baseball and women’s soccer coach there. He’d also claimed he’d driven from Alaska to Tierra del Fuego (southern tip of South America). When he finally picked up a bat in a practice one day, all his other grandiose claims were immediately put into question. He would have had a hard time starting for the local C-league co-ed team. -- knewhimlongago at the survivor tocantins board

(Ed. note: you can't drive from Alaska to Tierra del Fuego. There is no road through the Darien Gap, a big swamp that connects Panama to Colombia...it's the "missing link" of the Pan American highway)

As someone that has had the displeasure of meeting Coach before (around 10 years ago), trust me when I say he isn't playing a character. That is who is actually is. I'm friends with someone he worked with, and introduced me. We were talking and it came up that I was staying on in a high-rise building(I was there on holidays). Then he told me how he almost died one day when he fell off a 17th story balcony, but he managed to grab the railing of the balcony on the 2nd floor to save himself. -- Tamara, tvsquad

Annnd...scene.


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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-09, 01:34 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: What a life he leads"
*blink*

O...kay. Bear with me for a moment here.

There's a book about a real water adventure (solo around the world in a sailboat with no land stops) called A Voyage For Madmen. Unlike Benji's tale, the events in it are verified: the stories center around nine men who made the attempt (starting in 1968) within a few months of each other. One of them was named Donald Crowhurst, an inventor who had come up with experimental navigational equipment and his own ship design. He was the last to leave, traveling in the Teignmouth Electron. And within a short time of his departure, he started radioing back amazing runs. Mileage and position reports that made it look like he had a personal whirlwind pushing him along. A feat of sailing conducted by a first-timer which would completely rewrite the record books.

Except that he hadn't actually gone anywhere.

The inventions didn't work. The ship itself, hard-tackled by the departure deadline, was a mess: it would stay afloat and could be sailed (with occasional bailing), but it was no speed demon and might not survive a trip of the goal's magnitude. So Crowhurst parked it in calm waters, sat down with his navigational charts, and started figuring out where he should be given a working vessel and personal angel. The plan was to just hang around the ocean for several months, then come sailing back home with the speed record.

He sent back his figures. He secretly found a port he could put in at to restock and do a few repairs. He floated around the South Atlantic, waiting for the point when he could make a beeline for home. And he kept diaries.

The diaries made it very clear as to just when his mind started to go...

They found the ship sailing without him. The false logs were there, and the true. The madness was fully documented. Every last moment of the breakdown seemed to have been chronicled.

Quoting Wikipedia here:

'Crowhurst's behavior as recorded in his logs indicates a complex and conflicted psychological state. His commitment to faking the trip seemed incomplete and self-defeating, as he reported unrealistically fast progress that was sure to arouse suspicion. By contrast, he spent many hours meticulously constructing false log entries, often more difficult to complete than real entries, due to the celestial navigation research required.

The last several weeks of his log entries, once he was facing a real possibility of winning the prize, showed increasing irrationality. In the end, his writings during the voyage - poems, quotations, real and fake log entries, and random thoughts - amounted to more than 25,000 words. The log books include an attempt to construct a philosophical reinterpretation of the human condition that would provide an escape from his impossible situation. The number 243 shows up several times in these writings: he originally planned to finish the trip in 243 days, recorded a false distance of 243 nautical miles (450 km) in one day's sailing (which if valid would have been a record day's run at the time), and may have ended his life on the 243rd day (1 July) of his voyage.'

And in the end, Donald Crowhurst stepped off into the sea and let it do what it would.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Why bring this up? Two reasons.

1. I see Benji's entire life as being that of a man who sunk the true logs to the bottom and then had the luck to be picked up by a passing ship five seconds after he'd declared himself as a deity and gone for what would have been a last swim.

2. The idiot who wrote this book couldn't even be bothered to come up with a particularly original title. (But my, did he ever nail an apt one.)

http://tinyurl.com/c4vsrt for the mentioned book.
http://tinyurl.com/c3utwp focuses on Crowhurst.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Crowhurst

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nerovh 67 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-09, 05:19 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: What a life he leads"
We CAN still kill him if he is certifiably crazy, can't we?
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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-09, 06:20 PM (EST)
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32. "RE: What a life he leads"
It kind of brings up the question of whether he'd even notice...
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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-09, 06:26 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: What a life he leads"
Wade's book is: "A Voyage Beyond Reason".

Seems like a pretty accurate description of his whole life to me.



Fear and Loathing Tribe style 2008

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-09, 06:40 PM (EST)
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34. "RE: What a life he leads"
With Ben, the aggravating thing to me is that he actually will get some sort of sweet TV deals, as he planned. Like Fairplay.

Aggravating, life isn't supposed to work like that.

(Yeah, yeah, I know. Real world, and all of that).

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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-09, 07:27 PM (EST)
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35. "Disagree"
He's the male version of Octomom. Any network that signs him will automatically be a laughingstock.
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nerovh 67 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-09, 08:55 PM (EST)
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36. "RE: Disagree"
I don't think he'll really get any deals out of this, although I might not mind seeing Letterman get hold of him for a few minutes. "Top 10 Ways to Tell Coach Is Full of Crap".
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citywitch 250 desperate attention whore postings
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04-22-09, 06:22 AM (EST)
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37. "RE: Disagree"
"Top 10 Ways to Tell Coach Is Full of Crap"

I think more_cowbell already nailed these!

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-22-09, 08:15 AM (EST)
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38. "RE: Disagree"
At least Octomam had to give birth 7 times in a short period of time. Although by the seventh it was probably like shooting peas out of a drainage pipe, still, it had a basis in reality.

(And for all the Moms out there - Kudos. In spite of the fact that it's happened billions of times, it still doesn't seem possible to me).

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Brownroach 14241 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-09, 04:29 PM (EST)
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41. "RE: What a life he leads"
the aggravating thing to me is that he actually will get some sort of sweet TV deals, as he planned.

I don't know about that. Is there any evidence that he has an appeal to general audiences? I can't imagine he's not seen simply as a pathological liar by everyone watching the show.


A tribe glows in Brooklyn

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-09, 06:10 PM (EST)
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42. "RE: What a life he leads"
Just assuming that if Fairplay got deals, Coach will also. Of course getting into a wrestling ring, after having become a life-master of the art of Japanese Sumo might be below him.
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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-25-09, 06:27 AM (EST)
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45. "RE: What a life he leads"
Of course he will, National Geographic will be all over this one.
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bostonrobfan 490 desperate attention whore postings
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04-25-09, 00:50 AM (EST)
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44. "RE: What a life he leads"
I wonder if Tom Gauthier is a pen name for Coach. Or someone Coach paid to 'find' his diary and 'write' his story?


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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-09, 09:52 AM (EST)
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46. "Brain bleach, aisle 2..."
On March 3rd, Ebay's pathetic little realm of worthless baubles was forever eclipsed by this glorious one-time offering:

Win a Dream Date with Coach!

For the low low sum of $25,000, you receive the following, while benefitting "the kids that have Cancer":

*****

You are bidding for a Dinner Date and a weekend with COACH from CBS SURVIVOR in Susanville,CA.

1st class air r/t tickets to reno, NV.

1 Limo/driver to susanville r/t trip

2 nights in Susanville,CA

1 Dinner date in May/09 for two with Ben Wade "The COACH" on Survivor.

1st class seat at Wades Symphony in Action. PRICELESS MUSIC.

1 breakfast and lunch with Wade and friends.

1 private body guard for you use 24/7 for that weekend.

Coach private cell number, so you can talk before you weekend with Ben Wade.

Media attention from hollywood, internet, tv and Local news.

You lucky break to be seen with a Legend and star.

All proceeds will go to any children cancer hospital of you choice, after all cost have been covered. A real tax ride off and putting many smiles on some kids faces.

*****

The man who brings us this rare opportunity, Didier Blanquart, was Benji's assistant coach at Lassen College. Here's a small taste of what Didier has to say about his alluring merchandise:

"if they won we PARTY and if they lost bad they run 2miles the next day..
he never touch a girl while I was with him. But there was one in love with him her name ERIN from lassen and at sbu follow him there and became his asst coach.But she was a grazy girl she use to talk to her doles and stuff bears."

"Wade gets bad pain in his head and has a very bad back. Sorry but when it comes to coaching soccer he is #1. But can’t kick a ball for crap due to his bad back!
His team like him because he has given them free rides at colleges!
it take a greepy person to know a greepy person!

GO FOR IT BEN and WIN!just like a Coach would.

regards DIDIER."

***

Well. We may be greepy, Didier, but at least we're not full of grap.

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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-09, 11:54 AM (EST)
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47. "The rarely-seen taste of the American public"
Zero bids.

I'd call that our lucky break.

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Brownroach 14241 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-09, 03:03 PM (EST)
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48. "RE: Brain bleach, aisle 2..."
ashleyanddidier's Favorite Books are, surprise...

"A Voyage Beyond Reason by Benjamin Wade From Survivor #18"


A tribe glows in Brooklyn

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EmeraldBrooch 95 desperate attention whore postings
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05-01-09, 06:08 PM (EST)
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49. "RE: Brain bleach, aisle 2..."
You inspired me to do a little detective work too! Centered around the paragraph "Ben's coaching career begins"

I looked up the NCCAA web archives for 1997 and 1998, http://www.thenccaa.org/womenssoccerarc.htm#1997 November 17-21

I think the placing it mentions is correct, but there was an article somewhere where he claimed to have won the coach of the year,

"Wade took his first head coaching position at Simpson where he started the women's soccer program in 1997. In the two years he was there, he took Simpson to the National Christian College Athletic Association Tournament. The team was ranked eighth in the nation in their first year and finished as the third-ranked team in the country his second year. Wade was twice named NCCAA National Coach of the Year and his team in 1998 was ranked as high as second in the nation."

Which you can see isn't true.

The disturbing thing is the time line ... if he coached this team, he would have been at the tournament late November 1998, which hardly leaves time for him to kayak and have newspaper articles written about him, and manage to talk to Tom Hanks during the production of the movie Cast Away, and then come back and start another soccer program in 1999 with a different University.

Google archive searching produces one result between 97-98 with the Ben Wade we know.

------------------------------------------

I know that isn't much of a debunker, but researching this is actually really fun. How can you manipulate google to find the articles you need? How long would it take to solo navigate the entire length of the Amazon River?

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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
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05-04-09, 07:00 PM (EST)
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50. "RE: What a life he leads"
Great investigative job, and good point about the time line. There's no way he could have done all that in such a short period of time.

I find it fascinating that there's no documentation whatsoever about the kayak trip, other than a couple of interviews that he himself gave to newspapers. The world record isn't mentioned anywhere that he doesn't talk about it himself. I'm willing to buy that at some point he went on a soul searching kayak trip down the coast for a week or two, but for a journey of world record magnitude, with corporate sponsors, he'd have to have a support team, checkpoints, photographic evidence, witnesses...all things that would leave a footprint on Google. One can easily find reams of third-party testimony about Paul Caffyn's Australia trip, for example. But there's no way to cross-check Wade's trip.

It's also interesting that his journal, supposedly buried in tropical soil for six months and found in a "stained and tattered" condition, looks perfectly pristine in the preview image. (And why in the world would he bury his journal, anyway, after keeping it for the entire trip? Coach has never been one to hide his lofty thoughts away from the world.)

Also interesting that on several other message boards, mysterious "Coach defenders" are coming out of the woodwork, all with identical syntax and quasi-Christian slogans, claiming to have access to "numerous links" that they can post to prove Coach isn't lying. One poster claiming to be Ben's "trumpet teacher" alleged that he had scans of the ITG award, but he needed a "couple of weeks" to photoshop post them. I'm still waiting to see any of these scans and links. None of which have turned up in any of my Google research, by the way; and believe me, I tried my darndest to verify these claims.

For a good laugh, check out this hilarious Coach impersonation on Twitter. Sample tweet: "For most its difficult to adjust to the game. Luckily for me, being followed by cameras, eating bugs and being idolized are all commonplace."


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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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05-05-09, 12:54 PM (EST)
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51. "RE: What a life he leads"
(And why in the world would he bury his journal, anyway, after keeping it for the entire trip? Coach has never been one to hide his lofty thoughts away from the world.)

Benji does not trust prosperity. Benji is prosperity. And yet he doesn't trust it. Benji knows himself very well, even if he won't admit it... Fortunately, prosperity was kind enough to let his journal be found by a writer-of-sorts. What were the odds?

Right now, my biggest nearly-regret (and yes, I'm being careful what I wish for) is that we've somehow missed the Coach Defenders coming here. I'm not sure how we missed them: it's not as if we ever lacked for Weaver supporters. But it would be interesting to rip Benji apart in person when he makes his feeble attempt to post under an assumed name speak with someone who's found credibility in his statements. After all, it's not as if anyone's going to show up who isn't a member of his immediate family we have 100% certainty on the totality of his lies. He could always be holding the biggest whopper in reserve be telling the truth about something -- somewhere -- sometime...

And as far as Google is concerned, you're forgetting one thing: Benji invented it. Of course he's going to keep his most dubious extreme achievements off the listings! We're not supposed to worship him unless we're in his bedroom and trying not to die laughing until he formally declares his godhood!

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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
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05-14-09, 01:51 PM (EST)
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52. "And this one time, at band camp...."
Did you know.......

that Coach paid a casting agency to go on Survivor?

HNE Casting

Scroll down the page to see their congratulatory note to Coach.

The deal is, you pay a $300 fee up front to the agency, then they claim 7 - 10% of your winnings.

It's kind of sad, actually. He had to pay to get his book published, now we find out he had to pay to go on "Survivor". Are they that hard up for cast members?

And did you know his web site's back up too? It's two tons of manure in a one ton bag. With creepy swami music in the background.

Coach Ben Wade.com


While perusing the Trumpet Accomplishment section, I came across this little tidbit:

1985-89
1st Chair All-State/All-Region Southeast/United States Orchestra

Now, I played alto sax in high school, roughly contemporaneously with the Ponytailed One. We had a very serious, competitive music program that fed a lot of kids into the all-district/all-state/all-eastern system. After all-state, the next (and final) step was all easterns. There was no such thing as "all region", and no such thing as the "United States Orchestra".

Coach also claims to have been "First Chair" all four years of high school, for these various all-star ensembles. But!!! High school freshman aren't eligible for all-district, all-state, or all easterns. Only grades 10, 11, and 12 are. Younger high school musicians follow a separate junior districts track.

Making all-Easterns was (and still is) considered an extraordinary accomplishment. Less than 1% of high school musicians get in. They're truly the cream of the crop, the kids who go on to play with big-city orchestras and professional jazz bands. They don't suddenly decide after college that they want to go kayaking and coach soccer.

I'm sure there's a grain of truth somewhere in there. He probably did have enough talent to make districts, and maybe even all state - but as with all things Coach, it's deliberately and sloppily worded to puff up whatever smaller accomplishment lies at the core. Like the claim that he "composed 50 classical music pieces". Sure. ANYBODY can compose 50 classical music pieces. Why, I just composed one earlier this morning when I shoved some melon rinds down the garbage disposal. The question is, are they any good? Can you get them performed by a reputable orchestra?

Geez. This guy really puts the "phony" in "symphony".


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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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05-14-09, 09:44 PM (EST)
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53. "RE: And this one time, at band camp...."
LAST EDITED ON 05-14-09 AT 09:46 PM (EST)

And from your link,
there is this blog

http://www.benjaminwadeblog.com/

some guy who worked with him in Missouri. okay......

E:
Oh my gosh! I just looked closer. Only a couple of comments. Must be the guy won't let any one say anything bad - so no one has anything to say!

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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

05-15-09, 09:46 AM (EST)
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57. "RE: And this one time, at band camp...."
Interesting link, jbug. It looks like comments are moderated, so they probably don't get published if they're not 100% flattering. In last night's entry he scolded all the "haters", which makes me wonder how many negative comments people have tried to make.

This quote caught my eye: "J.T. has a way of playing the game smoothly and when he is not telling the truth, does it in a truthful way."

Huh? I didn't know it was possible to lie truthfully.

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Prof_ Wagstaff 4196 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-09, 10:02 AM (EST)
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58. "RE: And this one time, at band camp...."
Huh? I didn't know it was possible to lie truthfully.

Duh! That's's because you're not a deluded nutcase.


Surfkitten Summer Sigshop 2008
Okay, I'll admit I'm making an educated guess.

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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-09, 10:37 AM (EST)
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59. "RE: And this one time, at band camp...."
I posted a comment.
We'll see if it gets published.
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Prof_ Wagstaff 4196 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-09, 10:45 AM (EST)
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60. "RE: And this one time, at band camp...."
"Your comment will be visible after approval."
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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-09, 08:02 PM (EST)
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66. "RE: And this one time, at band camp...."
It got published!
See if you can figure out which is mine.
There are 5 comments now under May 14th - "Voted Off"
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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-09, 06:21 AM (EST)
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54. "Jeff got the good Kool-Aid."
'He's still shocked that villain Benjamin "Coach" Wade was voted off the island in last night's next-to-last episode.

"I had a moment of quiet," Probst says. "It was one of the greatest seasons of 'Survivor' ever, because of Coach. He had a couple of moments that were as good as anything we've ever had on the show: his speech on Exile Island, his poem at Tribal Council -- he went out exactly the way you'd want Coach to go out: with a bang.

"It's been a long time since people have hated somebody as much as people hate Coach. The only two people that compare would be Johnny Fairplay <'Survivor Micronesia'> and Richard Hatch <'Survivor Borneo'>.

"I don't understand the hatred for Coach -- I get that people see him as delusional, but I'm surprised that people dislike him. I miss him already, but he's left the game wide open in terms of who could win."'

http://tinyurl.com/oda5df

Jeff has also been known to be surprised by sunrise.

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Prof_ Wagstaff 4196 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-09, 07:41 AM (EST)
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55. "15 more minutes of Coach Wade"
Prof Wagstaff watched Ponderosa Loser Lodge this morning.

Prof Wagstaff almost blew coffee out his nose when Coach Wade said; "I am no longer the bow of the ship, leading the way. Now I am the radar. Now I am The Truth Seeker."

Prof Wagstaff can't wait to see The Truth Seeker at the final TC and the Reunion Show.

Prof Wagstaff wonders how long he can talk like this before is family beats him to death with sticks.


Into the magna tribe by phyl

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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-09, 07:55 AM (EST)
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56. "RE: 15 more minutes of Coach Wade"
I may beat them to it.
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PsychoKitty 678 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-09, 04:50 PM (EST)
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64. "RE: 15 more minutes of Coach Wade"
Hahahaha! Hysterical! Count me in!

Not that I have an opinion one way or another ;)
Signature by tribephyl

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Brownroach 14241 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-09, 11:04 AM (EST)
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61. "From Reality News Online interview"
LAST EDITED ON 05-15-09 AT 11:22 AM (EST)

RNO: Having watched yourself on TV, have you come to any realizations or conclusions about your own personality?

Coach: I’m not delusional. I’ve done everything I claimed to have done. It has tested who I am. It has been some wonderfully high times and some low times. I am who I am but I probably learned that nobody can take away that identify that I have, whether I’m a coach or I’m not or I’m fired. I had my career taken away from me, my reputation tarnished, I financially took a blow. I really came there a month ago and took a hard look. I have my character that’s been forged through trials and near death experiences and my identity in Christ. I’m a born again Christian. Neither of those can be taken from me. I just remember who I am.

..and later...

RNO: Why is it that none of your various stories or exploits appear in print or on the web anywhere except from you, yourself?

Coach: That might change. That’s all I’m going to say about that. I think you can find them on the web if you want to. When I actually broke the record in Honduras. I’m not going to go into all that. I didn’t set out to take these trips for world records or other people. I took the first trip to get closer to God. The media wanted to sensationalize it and came up with the world record. The Guinness book says the longest solo kayak trip is 326.98 miles – I could do that in three days. I’m working on that. <BR's note: but I thought he did set the record with his (much longer) 6,132 mile trip. According to his first answer above, he did, because he claims he did it.

I didn’t set out that way. I set out to do things that would put me closer to God. I really got burned out that first trip because the media distracted me from my true intention. I started getting consumed by the media. I had to be humbled many times by God and reminded as to what my purpose was.

When I came back, I experienced the same thing as Tom Hanks in Castaway and didn’t feel like I was part of society. Everybody wanted to hear my story but they couldn’t relate. They weren’t there when I truly needed them. I thought, “You know what, I didn’t do it for you guys,” and I became very introverted. I didn’t make friends and was very closed off and continued to take those trips. I could have documented it and made a bigger deal, but that wasn’t my intention.


A tribe glows in Brooklyn

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-09, 11:10 AM (EST)
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62. "RE: From Reality News Online interview"
Thank goodness I can touch type as my eyes rolled completely out of my head over that.

*feels around gently for eyes*

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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

05-15-09, 11:41 AM (EST)
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63. "RE: From Reality News Online interview"
Okay, so....

1) there's no mention of his trip "anywhere in print or on the web"

2) the media "wanted to sensationalize it"?

Well, which is it, Coach?

Here's what he told Reality Blurred:

"The editor of “Canoe & Kayak, he was not on Paul Caffyn’s supposed 9,000 mile trip. Paul Caffyn is dead, he can’t apply for the Guinness Book of World Records. The current record, by the way, is 245 miles, I think if you guys would have done your research, you would have seen that. I am applying for that record. I didn’t take the trip to do a world record; I did it for myself to get closer to God. It was the media that sensationalized that. As far as breaking the world’s record, did I break 245 miles? Yes. Is it documented? Yes. Nobody can question that.” He added that “Paul Caffyn was a glory hog and he wanted to submit his articles to Canoe & Kayak; I didn’t do that because that’s not what my trip was about.” "

Which is why Coach is applying for the world record. Because he's not a glory hog.

And if Coach had done HIS research, he wouldn't keep quoting different figures and different parameters for the solo kayaking world record. Is it miles paddled continuously without landfall? Or total length of journey? Either way, he's not a current world record holder.

Paul Caffyn, by the way, is still alive. (according to this article from March 2009)


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Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-09, 10:31 AM (EST)
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69. "RE: From Reality News Online interview"
Wonder if anyone has let Paul know he's dead?


Mangalicious by The Slice
09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq
04/29/2009 Bre left Iraq
06/09/2009 Bre gets a hug from Mom

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PsychoKitty 678 desperate attention whore postings
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05-15-09, 04:59 PM (EST)
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65. "RE: What a life he leads"
Well, I FINALLY took the time to check out the petewadeshow website - Oh my GAWD! My stomach just couldn't take it! (Really. . . I had to stop after a few minutes!)

A couple of exerpts:
"He and his brother Ben have lived amazing lives almost too astounding to believe (read biography below). Both are record-setting world travelers. Ben is a college soccer coach and symphony conductor and an outdoorsman who seeks adventure."

But Coach can’t even start a fire!

And,"Both boys astoundingly taught themselves to read and write at the age of two, displaying extraordinary intellect."

Oh come on! You KNOW they are writing this themselves! Gag me! He really takes the cake as the MOST self-aggrandizing BSer out there!


** A quick note to More_Cowbell - from finally reading this thread all the way through, I saw your note about your great lurking period of 7 years It IS about time you joined us! You are a very welcome and articulate voice!

And ALL of you are saying the most hilarious, RIGHT ON things! Thanks as always for all the fun and camaraderie!

Not that I have an opinion one way or another ;)
Signature by tribephyl

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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-09, 09:53 AM (EST)
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67. "RE: What a life he leads"
I'm amazed you made it that far through the Pete Wade website, PsychoKitty... Seems as though there's been fierce competition between the brothers, dating back to childhood. Maybe that explains all the compulsive lying. Pete tells one whopper, Ben has to top it with another, and off they go.

Well, Coach didn't disappoint last night, with his spray-on tan, dyed hair, and perma-smirk. Let's deconstruct the whole lie detector segment....

1) CBS asked Coach to take a lie detector test, but he refused, because "what would that prove?" But then...

2) SURPRISE! Coach took his own private lie detector test, and just happened to have the results on him!

3) Which were in a sealed envelope, implying pristine, never-before-revealed results. And yet Coach knew exactly where to tell Jeff to look...

4) The format of the test was suspect. Normally polygraph exams start off with a few easy, general questions to which the answers are known. They ask the subject to answer some truthfully and others untruthfully, so that they can calibrate body temperature, pulse rate, galvanic skin response, etc. Thus, the first few questions would have been along the lines of "Is your name Benjamin Wade? Do you coach women's soccer? Did you participate in a show called Survivor?" They wouldn't have jumped right to "Did you play with honor and integrity?"

Furthermore, the questions would have gone into minute detail about his Amazon experiences, and there would have been a lot more of them. It sounded to me like Coach made up the questions himself. Even Jeff commented on the amateurish appearance of the stationery. Almost as if it had been fabricated on someone's home printer.

5) Notice that Jeff only read the questions and Ben's answers, NOT THE ACTUAL POLYGRAPH RESULTS. "Were you kidnapped by heinie-munching jungle dwarfs?" "Yes." That doesn't prove a ding-dong thing. What did the polygraph say?

6) Lie detector tests only measure the person's level of guilt and/or level of self-delusion. Anyone good at controlling biofeedback, and any sociopath who fully believes his BS is the gospel truth, can pass easily. That's why they're not admissible as evidence in court. As George Costanza said, "It's not a lie if you believe it."

7) John Grogan, the man who administered Coach's polygraph test, is a con artist and former private eye who was stripped of his PI license and indicted for fraud in 2002 by the California Board of Consumer Affairs. He is not licensed to perform polygraph exams in the state of California. There are numerous complaints about his shoddy methods and pyramid scams all over the net, but you can read a summary here: John Grogan is NOT a polygraph examiner


This *has* to qualify as the most eye-rolling season of Survivor ever. If nothing else, Coach's non-stop lies made me aware of how much the living room ceiling needs dusting/repainting.

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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-09, 10:04 AM (EST)
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68. "RE: What a life he leads"
But... it made good TV, that's all that really matters.

I have to give kudos to Probst for playing along and not nailing Ben on the spot. Ben would have deserved it, no question, but it would have turned the reunion into yet another Coachcentric fiasco.

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cipher5150 166 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

05-18-09, 12:22 PM (EST)
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70. "RE: What a life he leads"
When Coach introduced his guests he said something about one of them being his biographer or author or something like that. Did anyone catch that? I’m not sure if it was Tom Gauthier, the guy that supposedly wrote the book based on Coach’s “diaries” or someone else (which is funny because I always assumed this person was a figment of Coach’s imagination).

I hope this doesn’t mean we can expect a sequel.

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-09, 12:31 PM (EST)
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71. "RE: What a life he leads"
Gotta wonder why Coach's family seem so unwilling to be on camera.
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newsomewayne 9065 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-09, 12:48 PM (EST)
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72. "RE: What a life he leads"
I wonder how much Coach had to pay for his lady of the evening friend.


Fear the reaper.
"The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money." - Margaret Thatcher

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mrc 10020 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-09, 01:11 PM (EST)
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73. "RE: What a life he leads"
I'm not current on how much it costs to "slay the dragon" nowadays.

A Slice of Manga

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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-09, 02:12 PM (EST)
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74. "RE: What a life he leads"
More like "squish the tiny garden salamander".

I'm guessing Lady Friend glommed on to Coach some time between the end of filming and the reunion show. Otherwise she would have been the one to visit Coach and stretch his hamstrings during the loved ones reward challenge. Some women are attracted to fame, even if it has a scraggly samurai topknot and quotes Nietzsche.

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mindy23 1319 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-09, 06:33 PM (EST)
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75. "RE: What a life he leads"
She had probably just left from her conjigal visit with her husband, one of the Menendez brothers, (or take your pick of any one of the death-row inmates near NY) to take advantage of a little free TV time via Coach.

I dunno.........


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Colonel Zoidberg 3645 desperate attention whore postings
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05-18-09, 10:10 PM (EST)
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76. "RE: What a life he leads"
I was just going to sum it up with "If he was telling the truth, then I'm married to Taj and have a Heisman trophy and a Pro Bowl appearance..." but I'll just sum it up like this:

Dude, it's Coach. What the hell do you expect?

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