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"Kill Coach."
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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 06:59 AM (EST)
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"Kill Coach."
LAST EDITED ON 04-03-09 AT 07:36 PM (EST)

That's right: I want you to kill him. Kill him dead. Extra-dead. You can even go all the way to really-most-sincerely-dead. Trust me, no one will mind. Possibly including his immediate family, if they're still capable of admitting the relationship.

Post all the ways you'd like to see him die on the show, at the Reunion, or just die, period. Kill him as many times as you like: you'll feel better. Think of him as being our very own Kenny -- he can die a thousand times from a thousand things and still be available tomorrow to kill again. We killed Bill and now we're killing Coach. A lot. Partially because none of his idiot tribemates have been willing to do the deed and get rid of what amounts to a walking corpse anyway, so we're taking over. But mostly because he really just needs killing.

No falling into fires or black jaguars, please. It's been done.

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Kill Coach. Snidget 04-03-09 1
 Go get mad, Estee. Prof_ Wagstaff 04-03-09 2
 RE: Kill Coach. CTgirl 04-03-09 3
 RE: Kill Coach. samboohoo 04-03-09 4
 RE: Kill Coach. jbug 04-03-09 5
   RE: Kill Coach. PepeLePew13 04-03-09 7
   RE: Kill Coach. foonermints 04-26-09 66
 RE: Kill Coach. Prof_ Wagstaff 04-03-09 6
   Won't work. PepeLePew13 04-03-09 8
       Just gotta get the right snakes. Snidget 04-03-09 9
 RE: Kill Coach. dabo 04-03-09 10
   RE: Kill Coach. jbug 04-03-09 12
 RE: Kill Coach. VisionQuest 04-03-09 11
   RE: Kill Coach. mindy23 04-03-09 13
 Coach hell suzzee 04-03-09 14
 RE: Kill Coach. Estee 04-03-09 15
 RE: Kill Coach. J Slice 04-03-09 16
   RE: Kill Coach. PepeLePew13 04-03-09 17
 RE: Kill Coach. jbug 04-03-09 18
   RE: Kill Coach. PepeLePew13 04-03-09 19
 RE: Kill Coach. Belle Book 04-03-09 20
 RE: Kill Coach. vince3 04-03-09 21
   RE: Kill Coach. michel 04-06-09 22
       RE: Kill Coach. PepeLePew13 04-06-09 23
           RE: Kill Coach. vince3 04-06-09 24
               RE: Kill Coach. rasslinmomma 04-17-09 46
           RE: Kill Coach. PsychoKitty 04-06-09 25
 RE: Kill Coach. Colonel Zoidberg 04-06-09 26
 Ahem. Estee 04-17-09 27
   RE: Ahem. Buggy 04-17-09 29
       RE: Ahem. jbug 04-17-09 31
       RE: Ahem. Estee 04-17-09 32
   RE: Ahem. suzzee 04-17-09 35
       RE: Ahem. jbug 04-17-09 37
 Impossible vince3 04-17-09 28
   RE: Impossible Snidget 04-17-09 33
 RE: Kill Coach. LibraRising 04-17-09 30
   RE: Kill Coach. ohmyheck 04-17-09 47
 RE: Kill Coach. Ahtumbreez 04-17-09 34
 RE: Kill Coach. Loree 04-17-09 36
   Rephrase? Estee 04-17-09 38
       RE: Rephrase? LibraRising 04-17-09 40
   RE: Kill Coach. Max Headroom 04-17-09 39
 Show your support! J Slice 04-17-09 41
   RE: Show your support! LibraRising 04-17-09 42
   RE: Show your support! nailbone 04-17-09 43
 RE: Kill Coach. newsomewayne 04-17-09 44
   RE: Kill Coach. Estee 04-17-09 45
       RE: Kill Coach. mindy23 04-18-09 49
           RE: Kill Coach. PepeLePew13 04-19-09 50
 RE: Kill Coach. PsychoKitty 04-17-09 48
 Have Y'all Seen This? Snidget 04-19-09 51
   RE: Have Y'all Seen This? jbug 04-20-09 52
       RE: Have Y'all Seen This? Estee 04-20-09 53
   Holy crap -- there's aNOTHer one of... Brownroach 04-24-09 62
   RE: Have Y'all Seen This? bostonrobfan 04-25-09 65
 RE: Kill Coach. more_cowbell 04-20-09 54
 RE: Kill Coach. nerovh 04-20-09 55
   RE: Kill Coach. Estee 04-20-09 56
 RE: Kill Coach. Estee 04-24-09 57
 RE: Kill Coach. Snidget 04-24-09 58
 wounded? jbug 04-24-09 59
   RE: wounded? vince3 04-24-09 60
 RE: Kill Coach. more_cowbell 04-24-09 61
 In return for the pain you have cau... rasslinmomma 04-24-09 63
 RE: Kill Coach. bostonrobfan 04-25-09 64
 Death By Orchestra Brownroach 04-27-09 67
   RE: Death By Orchestra suzzee 04-27-09 68
   LOL CTgirl 04-27-09 69
 The musical method. Estee 04-29-09 70
 She's really naive... PepeLePew13 05-02-09 71
 Mega-earned -- Estee 10-30-11 72
   RE: Mega-earned -- kingfish 10-30-11 73
   RE: Mega-earned -- PsychoKitty 10-30-11 74
   RE: Mega-earned -- suzzee 11-01-11 75
       RE: Mega-earned -- agman 11-01-11 77
           RE: Mega-earned -- suzzee 11-02-11 79
   RE: Mega-earned -- agman 11-01-11 76
   RE: Mega-earned -- michel 11-01-11 78
       RE: Mega-earned -- agman 11-02-11 80
           RE: Mega-earned -- dabo 11-02-11 81
               RE: Mega-earned -- Estee 11-02-11 82
               RE: Mega-earned -- Belle Book 11-02-11 84
                   RE: Mega-earned -- agman 11-02-11 85
               RE: Mega-earned -- agman 11-02-11 86
       RE: Mega-earned -- Belle Book 11-02-11 83
           RE: Mega-earned -- agman 11-04-11 87

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 07:23 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Kill Coach."
Get the crew that built the collapsing gazebo over on CSI:Miami (I think it was the show) to build the individual reward hut and drop the extra heavy roof on him just as he starts to gloat about his greatness.

Oh wait, that implies he might be capable of winning a challenge, well I'm sure they can rig something for him, after all they've found things that other useless contestants can win.

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Prof_ Wagstaff 4196 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 07:49 AM (EST)
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2. "Go get mad, Estee."
And the truth shall set you freeeeeeee, Estee!
Go and be free.


Into the magna tribe by phyl

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CTgirl 7073 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 07:52 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: Kill Coach."
Lock him in a room with Sandy. He'll off himself.


Another Tribe Creation

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samboohoo 17075 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 07:59 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: Kill Coach."
I'd like to wait until the winds start to shift and then toss him into a pot and boil him. And then, just at the point when he's al dente, I'd like to add some dirty water and toss another log. I'll leave the pot going all day until nothing is left but bits of charcoal.

Then I'll just get a new pot because he wouldn't be worth the effort I'd had to put into cleaning that one.

*smooches Agman*


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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 08:03 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Kill Coach."
Force him to eat under-cooked beans.
A blocked colon should do it if untreated.



now who has that siggie?

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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 09:03 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Kill Coach."
If the colon isn't blocked, that's okay... stuff a big cork down there, then keep feeding him beans non-stop. Not being able to release some gas will eventually kill him.


Stinky Musings <--- blog's been updated!

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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-09, 01:54 PM (EST)
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66. "RE: Kill Coach."
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Prof_ Wagstaff 4196 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 08:06 AM (EST)
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6. "RE: Kill Coach."
I see Coach at the bottom of a deep pit... with snakes, lots and lots of snakes


14 Carrot Sig by Tribephyl

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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 09:04 AM (EST)
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8. "Won't work."
Snakes won't attack other snakes.


Stinky Musings <--- blog's been updated!

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 09:12 AM (EST)
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9. "Just gotta get the right snakes."
"Its genus name, Ophiophagus, literally means "snake-eater", and its diet primarily consists of other snakes, including sizeable pythons and even smaller members of its own species."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_Cobra

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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 09:24 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: Kill Coach."
Quicksand. No special reason but it's quick.


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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 09:35 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: Kill Coach."
But really . . . it's not really quick


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VisionQuest 1171 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 09:32 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: Kill Coach."
Scalping - the hair is just begging for it. (Just make sure you stick around to make sure he dies)

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mindy23 1319 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 09:44 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: Kill Coach."
Send him to Exile Island with Tyson, who comes off to ME as a serial killer anyway. Pay Tyson whatever he asks, and when the chopper comes to pick them up, Tyson can just tell the pilot that Coach freaked out, tore off all his clothes, which Tyson will be holding, and ran off, screaming into the desert, never to be seen again.

But what really happened is that Tyson, having been paid a certain amount of money (in the 'kill Coach fund', which we will start and will be heavily funded within a few days), will strangle him with the fake immunity idol. All the while telling him what an amazing dude he is.

"Oh, Coach, you are the best. Oh, Coach, there is no one in the world like you!. Oh, Coach, if only I could be the man that you are." And if Tyson's fake idol doesn't choke him to death, those fake words will surely do it. Afterwards, he can bury him in a big sand pit (that's where the snakes come in).

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 10:13 AM (EST)
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14. "Coach hell"
A quick kill isn't what I'm looking for, it's been weeks of coach torture for us all he deserves more pain. Although I did like the cork & beans idea.

1: A potion that would render him mute then an permanent position as a band director for one hundred 14 year old egotistical tone deaf clones of himself.

2: After searching his family tree he discovers he is not Native American, of royal blood nor Steven Sagal's little brother. He does discover that his great great uncle, twice removed then removed again lived in a cave with Sasquatch, but not in a romantic way.

3: Ten years in a room with nothing but a parrot that repeats his words back to him. This may constitute animal cruelty though.



Fear and Loathing Tribe style 2008

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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 01:03 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Kill Coach."
Fill all available orifices with ceramic pigs.

All available orifices.

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J Slice 13166 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 03:04 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Kill Coach."
1. Take one echo-ey cement-walled room. Add several loudspeakers. And by several, I mean as many as possible, on the walls and on the floor and on the ceiling. Obtain recordings of "stupid crap said by Coach". Turn up volume on attached amplifier to as many decibels as is possible. Ear shattering volume. The kind that makes the walls shake. Turn off all lights, remove all windows. Total sensory deprivation.

2. Add Coach.

3. Seal door with concrete and lead.


Because this is closer to how I look...

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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 03:10 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Kill Coach."
Wonder if it'd be more effective to replace these recordings with "Erinn's Daily Thoughts"?


Stinky Musings <--- blog's been updated!

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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 03:33 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Kill Coach."
has anyone on Survivor ever annoyed us as much as this guy does?


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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 03:41 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Kill Coach."
Wanda. Imagine if she had lasted a few episodes...
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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 04:31 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Kill Coach."
Wish we could use the black jaguar -- or the crewman who has a grudge on the contestant to off him, for that matter. I think Jake would do a better job on Coach than he did on Alex.

Anyway, I've got a good idea for offing Coach -- how about tying him to a pole and leaving him for a "wild animal" to eat -- only the wild animal in question is the Tasmanian Devil, sent from Australia by Bugs Bunny thanks to Acme Transport? Old Taz will eat anything -- including Coach, no doubt.

Belle Book

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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
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04-03-09, 06:29 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Kill Coach."
Since they're going individual, boobie trap Coach's obstacle course. Include "accidental" addition of a trap hole that then has sand falling into it so that Coach can never escape....

Either that or send a few female wrestlers to dissect his stoopid a$$!

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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04-06-09, 09:05 AM (EST)
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22. "RE: Kill Coach."
LAST EDITED ON 04-06-09 AT 09:06 AM (EST)

"Either that or send a few female wrestlers to dissect his stoopid a$$!

You mean Jenna Morasca?


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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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04-06-09, 09:32 AM (EST)
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23. "RE: Kill Coach."
Can we tag-team Jenna with Ashley Massaro?

Personally, I'd be happy to tie Coach to a pole and leave him dangling about a half-inch off the ground, with his toes dipped into honey, then releasing a huge colony of army ants around the pole.

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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
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04-06-09, 10:04 AM (EST)
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24. "RE: Kill Coach."
Jenna and Ashley would compose the Survivor Alumni wrestler portion. I'm also talking about some female wrestlers that don't give a care about looking pretty and are plenty rough......
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rasslinmomma 938 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 12:58 PM (EST)
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46. "RE: Kill Coach."
You rang?


I would remove his larynx and make him live.

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PsychoKitty 678 desperate attention whore postings
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04-06-09, 04:40 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Kill Coach."
As Mr. Burns would say, "Excellent!"

Not that I have an opinion one way or another ;)
Signature by tribephyl

Sorry I don't know how to size a linked image

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Colonel Zoidberg 3645 desperate attention whore postings
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04-06-09, 09:45 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Kill Coach."
I dunno...we could always drop him in a coffee shop during a mid-season leg of a certain parallel Amazing Race...OK, that might just be horrible.

Although all I've got beyond that is a faulty challenge set...maybe he'll fall on his head and actually be smarter...

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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 03:02 AM (EST)
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27. "Ahem."
Apparently some of you just aren't killing him hard enough.
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04-17-09, 08:11 AM (EST)
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29. "RE: Ahem."
The midget natives couldn't kill him and eat his , um, face.
How are we supposed to kill him.

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04-17-09, 08:37 AM (EST)
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31. "RE: Ahem."
There's got to be a crocodile out there somewhere just wanting a bite of him...
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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 08:40 AM (EST)
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32. "RE: Ahem."
We controlled Richard's mind and made him a thousand times too arrogant to pay his taxes. We can kill Coach.
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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 09:06 AM (EST)
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35. "RE: Ahem."
Delusional, I don't know how he is IRL but that pygmy story was it. I'd say get him drug tested, he's found a natural source for Brazilian LSD. I'd say send him back to the pygmy camp but that would violate the Geneva Convention. What.a.tool.
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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 09:22 AM (EST)
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37. "RE: Ahem."
When he started the story he said only 3 or 4 other people on earth had ever heard this story. Yea, right. Like if it had happened he wouldn't have told every Tom, Dicque & Harry Jane, Sue & Sally he's ever met?

I loved JT's comments about going back with a rifle! That's just good old redneck talk; don't get mad, get even. LOL


Slicey took out the wrinkles '08

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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 03:19 AM (EST)
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28. "Impossible"
Stated in the Bar last night......

He's freakin' Rasputin!

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 08:40 AM (EST)
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33. "RE: Impossible"
Posted something in the look alike thread for you
http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID4/4848.shtml#13
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LibraRising 2847 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 08:31 AM (EST)
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30. "RE: Kill Coach."
Was that SNL Penelope character based on him?
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ohmyheck 1919 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 01:35 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: Kill Coach."
I said that same thing last night!
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Ahtumbreez 10456 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 08:56 AM (EST)
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34. "RE: Kill Coach."
I just wanted him eaten by a dragon, or a lizard - I would have been totally happy with a lizard.


Mangalicious by The Slice
09/25/2008 Bre left for Iraq
04/29/2009 Bre leaves Iraq

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Loree 8616 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 09:22 AM (EST)
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36. "RE: Kill Coach."
I just want it to be slow and painful. And I would like to add Tyson to the mix. Co-coach should go to the end with him.
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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 09:29 AM (EST)
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38. "Rephrase?"
I know it's not the 'go to the end with him' you meant, but if Benji and Tyson are the F2, I will never watch this series or anything else produced by EPMB again.
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04-17-09, 09:40 AM (EST)
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40. "RE: Rephrase?"
I second that. They aren't even entertainingly horrible people. Just horrible people who make my skin crawl. Hearing the two of them try to appeal why they should get a million dollars would be like watching TBN.
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Max Headroom 10028 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 09:30 AM (EST)
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39. "RE: Kill Coach."
At least Co-Coach Tyson is funny. Coach is just delusional.


agman's helping me survive

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J Slice 13166 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 09:52 AM (EST)
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41. "Show your support!"
Wear this sig pic. In solidarity we stand.


Because this is closer to how I look...

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04-17-09, 10:26 AM (EST)
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42. "RE: Show your support!"
Proudly!


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nailbone 27263 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 11:06 AM (EST)
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43. "RE: Show your support!"
I'm in! I have NEVER been more disappointed in survivor than I was last night when Coach was not voted off.





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newsomewayne 9065 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 11:21 AM (EST)
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44. "RE: Kill Coach."
Two words:

Elephant Teabagging.


Fear the reaper.
"The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money." - Margaret Thatcher

Only problems are we are one season too late and I've never seen an Amazonian -where are we again - an Amazonian elephant.

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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 11:44 AM (EST)
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45. "RE: Kill Coach."
Only problems are we are one season too late and I've never seen an Amazonian -where are we again - an Amazonian elephant.

Don't worry. As proven by his encounter with the previously non-existent Amazon Pygmy tribe, Benji's mere existence makes living beings travel thousands of miles from their native land just to get a shot at killing him.

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mindy23 1319 desperate attention whore postings
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04-18-09, 09:25 AM (EST)
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49. "RE: Kill Coach."
>Only problems are we are one
>season too late and I've
>never seen an Amazonian -where
>are we again - an
>Amazonian elephant.

>
>Don't worry. As proven by
>his encounter with the previously
>non-existent Amazon Pygmy tribe, Benji's
>mere existence makes living beings
>travel thousands of miles from
>their native land just to
>get a shot at killing
>him.


ROFLMBO!!! TOO FUNNY!!
Why, oh WHY didn't they let HIM go on the rapids trip? That would have been a PERFECT time and place to just kind of look around, toss him overboard, and be done with it! I don't think ONE person would have looked for him, asked about him, even Jeffy! It would have been as if Coach had never existed, except in our sick, deceitful, little minds....


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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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04-19-09, 11:05 AM (EST)
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50. "RE: Kill Coach."
LAST EDITED ON 04-19-09 AT 11:07 AM (EST)

Know what would have been even funnier?

If Coach had gone on that reward trip, I would have loved it if the Survivor producers had arranged for a bunch of pygmies to suddenly pounce out of the middle of nowhere with a bunch of spears and masks and say, "Lembro-me de vocÍ, Treinador, vocÍ vem conosco!"**


** translated from Portuguese: I remember you, Coach, you're coming with us!


Stinky Musings <--- blog's been updated!

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PsychoKitty 678 desperate attention whore postings
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04-17-09, 01:40 PM (EST)
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48. "RE: Kill Coach."
I stand in solidarity beside you!

Wow! Last night I just was flabbergasted. How obnoxious can ONE individual be?!!!!!!!!! He was such a f####in' amazing freak show and they kept him around?!!!! I was blown away - both by his descent into even more freakdom - how was it possible to be more of a loser/attention grabber/DAW - (including the fabulous 'do he wore to Tribal Council - good god!), and the fact they got rid of Brandon and kept him. They must be sadists.

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-19-09, 05:03 PM (EST)
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51. "Have Y'all Seen This?"
http://www.petewadeshow.com/whoarewe.htm

A few snippets

The Wade Brothers are direct descendants of historic figure Pocahontas as well as Lewis and Clark Expedition veteran Sergeant Charles Floyd.

Both boys astoundingly taught themselves to read and write at the age of two, displaying extraordinary intellect.


Ben embarked on a kayaking voyage along the Pacific Coast that would set a Guinness World Record for the longest distance ever traveled in a kayak at 6,132 miles, fraught with shark and whale encounters, boredom, loneliness and delirium. The trek ended when Ben was poisoned by drinking water he had purchased in a village that had apparently been stored in a gasoline drum. Near death, he was found floating in his kayak off the coast of South America by relatives of recording artist Linda Ronstadt who were navigating a yacht in the area.

Just how short is Linda Ronstadt?

At one such get-together, as he spun tales of his escapades on the high seas, one celebrity partygoer became a very intrigued eavesdropper. Unbeknownst to the public at that time, Actor Tom Hanks was gathering ideas with writer William Broyles, Jr. for the script of the motion picture Cast Away.

And that's all I can take


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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 10:31 AM (EST)
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52. "RE: Have Y'all Seen This?"
Wish I could find out when that was written
and by whom...

Hey, maybe all of us should be writing our "who are we" stories. . . I can think up some pretty exciting things for myself. . .


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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 11:01 AM (EST)
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53. "RE: Have Y'all Seen This?"
As far as 'when' goes, at least it doesn't include 'And dear little Benji, nature's perfect man-god, was voted a million dollars by seven worshipful lesser beings...'
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Brownroach 14241 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-09, 12:19 PM (EST)
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62. "Holy crap -- there's aNOTHer one of him?"
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Omg, I can't stand it.

As Hanks listened intently, occasionally asking questions, he was apparently inspired by a number of fascinating details experienced by Ben during his weeks of profound solitude without human contact during his journeys. Some of these ideas that eventually made the final movie script included the scene in which Hanksí character Chuck Noland looks directly into the eye of a whale beneath his boat, the scene in which Noland sleeps on the floor after returning to society and the scene in which Noland hears coconuts dropping from trees in the distance, unsure of the source of the noise.


A tribe glows in Brooklyn

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bostonrobfan 490 desperate attention whore postings
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04-25-09, 00:33 AM (EST)
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65. "RE: Have Y'all Seen This?"
I've never heard anyone that went to UT call it UTK.


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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 03:32 PM (EST)
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54. "RE: Kill Coach."
Dressed in a skimpy Hooters outfit, Coach is given a five-second head start on an angry radical lesbian separationist mob armed with soccer cleats, burnt beans, and bull manure. (The mob has prior experience throwing things underhanded at tiles, so their aim is deadly.)

National Geographic films the whole thing. It's all about the circle of life.

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nerovh 67 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 08:44 PM (EST)
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55. "RE: Kill Coach."
Has anyone tried the "Avarda Cadavra" curse on him yet? It might work, seeing as he's been using the "Cruciatus" curse on the viewers all season.
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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-09, 10:41 PM (EST)
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56. "RE: Kill Coach."
Sadly, he seems to have at least a tiny amount of skill with Imperio.
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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-09, 07:17 AM (EST)
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57. "RE: Kill Coach."
Arrange a thousand swords blades-up in a field. Tell him to start falling.
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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-09, 07:43 AM (EST)
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58. "RE: Kill Coach."
Produce a large number of commercials with someone else starring as "The Most Interesting Man In The World".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2XuEnNiMF4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRaTekm9Ak8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Bc0WjTT0Ps
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PIkOwbUqWA

Really, can you tell the difference between this guy's stories and Coaches?

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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-09, 08:28 AM (EST)
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59. "wounded?"
Did he at least get a bit wounded last night?
Can we hope he's bleeding? at least internally?


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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-09, 08:32 AM (EST)
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60. "RE: wounded?"
At bare minimum his doppleganger and one of his human shields has been taken out......
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more_cowbell 60 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-09, 09:05 AM (EST)
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61. "RE: Kill Coach."
Bait a tiger pit with a slice of pizza.

Sun Tzu says: The Noble Warrior always chooses pepperoni over immunity.

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rasslinmomma 938 desperate attention whore postings
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04-24-09, 04:04 PM (EST)
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63. "In return for the pain you have caused..."
LAST EDITED ON 04-24-09 AT 10:37 PM (EST)

To the pain. Yup, and a couple of ROUSes on the side.

COACH
I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

ENTIRE VIEWING AUDIENCE (EVA)
I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you wart-hog-faced buffoon.

COACH
That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

EVA
It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.

COACH
and then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

EVA
I wasn't finished -- the next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right --

COACH
-- and then my ears, I understand. Let's get on with it --

EVA
Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why ---- so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish -- every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

ETA: Although I see coach as more of a Vizzini, don't you?

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bostonrobfan 490 desperate attention whore postings
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04-25-09, 00:15 AM (EST)
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64. "RE: Kill Coach."
Have him benchpress 300lbs and forget to spot him.


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Brownroach 14241 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-09, 03:19 PM (EST)
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67. "Death By Orchestra"
Step 1: insert pathological liarís head into bell of tuba
Step 2: pound on tuba bell with timpani and gong mallets non-stop for 30 minutes
Step 3 (simultaneous with Step 2): stab pathological liarís torso repeatedly with violin/viola bows and cello/double bass tailspikes
Step 4: remove pathological liarís head from tuba bell and strangle with piano wire


A tribe glows in Brooklyn

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-09, 05:31 PM (EST)
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68. "RE: Death By Orchestra"
Drive a stake into his heart, boil for 2 hours, serves 30 Amazon warriors.
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CTgirl 7073 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-09, 05:54 PM (EST)
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69. "LOL"
Love it, BR!

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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-09, 12:31 PM (EST)
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70. "The musical method."
LAST EDITED ON 04-29-09 AT 12:32 PM (EST)

i'll be your number one with a bullet
a loaded god complex
cock it and pull it

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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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05-02-09, 07:25 AM (EST)
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71. "She's really naive..."
LAST EDITED ON 05-02-09 AT 07:25 AM (EST)

I knew it! KNEW IT! Coach is full of poison!

School Nurse Dies After Helping Fallen Coach

Pay no attention to the article itself, just look at the headline. Proof that Coach is poisonous and must be eradicated at all costs possible. The poor unsuspecting nurse actually believed that this Coach was worthy of being saved, and paid for it with her life.


As an aside, no, not all deaths are funny and what a story about the nurse, a heroic nurse at that. RIP.

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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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10-30-11, 11:01 AM (EST)
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72. "Mega-earned --"
-- mega-bump.

Please note that as per his apparent personal preferences, crucifixion is now an option.

Dust off the sigpic riders, warm up the seething, oil the verbal guns...

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kingfish 16088 desperate attention whore postings
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10-30-11, 11:37 AM (EST)
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73. "RE: Mega-earned --"
A mega bump to nail Coach to a board is ok with me.
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PsychoKitty 678 desperate attention whore postings
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10-30-11, 04:00 PM (EST)
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74. "RE: Mega-earned --"
Ya know, . . . as a card carrying "kill Coach" member, who has to find her siggie (I'm typing from my work computer today), I was actually kinda rooting for Coach this time until this last episode - GAG ME!!!!

So obnoxious! And all of them with their "religious display." It was so off putting and how do they think their team looks to the other tribe? I'm sure people are making mental notes about how "mental" they are before the merge . . .

Yes - kill Coach!!! Rally the cry!

Not that I have an opinion one way or another ;)
Signature by tribephyl

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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11-01-11, 11:56 AM (EST)
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75. "RE: Mega-earned --"
Feel free to caption this one:

Smug, arrogant, self-absorbed, a$$, and so on.


A Tribe masterpiece


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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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11-01-11, 06:23 PM (EST)
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77. "RE: Mega-earned --"
Smug, arrogant, self-absorbed, a$$, and so
on.

WHoa, I thought you were talking about me there for a minute!

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suzzee 4956 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-11, 07:55 AM (EST)
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79. "RE: Mega-earned --"



agman makes me hot

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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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11-01-11, 12:03 PM (EST)
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76. "RE: Mega-earned --"
Gawd I can't stand that arrogant jerk! I'm so glad this thread is back!


siggie stolen from Snidget

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michel 10812 desperate attention whore postings
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11-01-11, 09:09 PM (EST)
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78. "RE: Mega-earned --"
Wirh 18 entries all to himself in the new Funny 115, Coach has been an entertaining jerk.

http://www.funny115.com/v2/version2.htm

This season's Coach was the boring one... until the last episode!

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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-11, 10:19 AM (EST)
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80. "RE: Mega-earned --"

I'm still curious to see what kind of a "character" Cochran becomes. It seems as though he's being groomed to be the next villain.



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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-11, 11:22 AM (EST)
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81. "RE: Mega-earned --"
The Torpedo!


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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-11, 11:47 AM (EST)
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82. "RE: Mega-earned --"
I think you just found the category immediately beyond 'obscure'.

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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-11, 04:55 PM (EST)
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84. "RE: Mega-earned --"
Good one, Dabo! Cochran's going to be the Torpedo -- and go against his own tribe! However, we need our own thread for Cochran, as this one is for Coach.


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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-11, 09:38 PM (EST)
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85. "RE: Mega-earned --"
LAST EDITED ON 11-02-11 AT 10:23 PM (EST)

I think YOu should start one!...I'll participate!


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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-11, 10:24 PM (EST)
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86. "RE: Mega-earned --"

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Belle Book 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-11, 04:54 PM (EST)
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83. "RE: Mega-earned --"
Well, we all know one thing -- if Coach makes it to the Final 3, he won't win!


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agman 11158 desperate attention whore postings
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11-04-11, 05:50 PM (EST)
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87. "RE: Mega-earned --"
LAST EDITED ON 11-04-11 AT 06:17 PM (EST)

He might if by some fluke he were there with Cochran and little hantz!

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