LAST EDITED ON 12-07-08 AT 03:39 PM (EST)
Last week, Burnett served us his leftovers for Thanksgiving so many of you decided to watch boring Football games intead. Talk about crap and recrap! I know that it isn’t easy to get back into the flow of a season when Survivor takes a break so I suggest you read Spanky’s fine summary of episode #9. (Yes, just like Survivor forgets to count certain days, we’ve had problems with episode numbers ever since that 2 episode premiere)
Also, to get you caught up on all the events, I obtained an exclusive Unreal TV World Interview with a Survivor Editor. To keep his identity secret, we will call him “Dead Meat”. We will get his thoughts on the way the season was edited:
UTVW: Before we get into the 11th episode, I’d like to ask a few questions about the season to date, if that’s alright with you?
Dead Meat: “Sure, what would you like to know?
UTVW: “This season, you’ve done a good job fooling the spoiling community with your mis-directions. Why were you so lame in previous seasons?
DM: “In the beginning, Survivor was so popular that we simply couldn’t keep the lid on everything. There were so many spoilers who had inside sources that we had to use weapons of mass disinterest. By watching seasons so numbingly boring and predictable as Palau, Cook Islands and Fiji, Snewser was bored to sleep, Chillone’s ambitions froze, Mersaydeez hit a wall, Tooth in Time was pulled out and TDT’s existence was poisoned. With everyone knowing that Tom, Yul and Earl would win by the end of their first episode, it rendered spoiling useless. Now, with no one watching anymore, we’re finally able to put interesting seasons together.”
UTVW: “But this season started off just as lame as many others in recent years. When Michelle, Gillian, Paloma, Jacquie and Kelly left, no one was really surprised or even cared. Viewers didn’t care because those women were either boring or useless. Why didn’t you develop these characters more than you did?”
DM: “Well, deciding how a character is going to be edited depends on many things. Take Michelle for example: A cast of supermodels and ex-Playmates was brought to Africa to showcase our first season in HDDTV. Then we realized that the guys were all going ga-ga. We just had a season with an all-female Final Four so the men turning into mush wasn’t what we wanted. We returned most of that cast home and brought in new recruits. It was done in such a hurry that the screening process wasn’t too careful and we missed how ugly Michelle’s zits would look in HD. We had to do something to assure she wouldn’t stay long. We secretely encouraged her to show her singing talents to the tribe. That guaranteed she’d be booted on the spot.”
Warning: This is a low-resolution vidcap.
Use of High Definition may cause nausea and nightmares.
It may also cause ED in males that aren’t geeks.
UTVW: “But then, why did you show so much of the old Goat?”
DM: “When you have a crazy woman grabbing elephant dung with both hands and saying there could be something edible inside, you just have to show it.”
No one will be eating at Grandma’s anymore
UTVM: “I see… So what happened with Jacquie, Paloma and Kelly? They looked pretty good in HD but they were still ignored.”
DM: “Jacquie was Jeff’s decision. Ever since he was dumped by Julie, Jeff hasn’t had much luck with Survivor women. Jaime went for Erik, Parvati for James while Amanda and “That Girl” Alexis were all over Ozzy. Suddenly, Denise was looking good to Jeff. Realizing how low he had fallen, Jeff looked for help. He thought he had finally turned it around. Jacquie caught his eye but the bimbo was all over Marcus. That enraged Jeff so he made it clear she wasn’t to get any airtime.”
“Kota keeping the pin-up model instead of Paloma really screwed our story. We gave Paloma and Kelly very little airtime so that our theme of Good versus Evil could work. We had our villain, even if he was weird...
"The Man in Orange Undies"
...Paloma had a great sense of humor and we could have given Kelly the perfect “funny dumb Blonde” role but we had to rely on Sugar instead.”
UTVW: “That leads me to my next question: Wasn’t that “Good versus Evil” theme rather contrived? As viewers, we couldn’t really tell who was good and who was evil since they all looked obnoxious. Kota looked like the good Tribe and Fang the stupidly bad one but then everything was shot when that lame twist gave OldFang the game.”
DM: “You did notice that, didn’t you? Hummm… Yes, we didn’t really know what we were talking about so we let Jeff, the “One Take Wonder”, ramble on and somehow we tried to piece things together from there.”
UTVW: “That makes it sound like the reason Jeff doesn’t need a second take is because he can say just about anythi…”
DM: “You didn’t hear that from me. Do you know how many editors fell out of their chair laughing when we heard Jeff saying “Don’t even listen to me” during an endurance challenge?!! That really made our day. The only way we managed to put that scene on the air was by distracting Jeff, telling him that Colby was on the phone.”
UTVW: “But, in the end, were Marcus and Charlie supposed to be Good or Evil?”
DM: “Marcus was just built up so that we’d shut up those people who think they can figure out who the winner really is just by the way the story is presented.
Charlie is a friend of Eliza who recommended him to us. We were hoping he’d use her high-wire act type of strategy which would have been entertaining but he was just plain boring.
UTVW: “Let’s talk about Randy.”
UTVM: “OK then… Can I ask what you think of the 7 remaining players? Let’s start with Sugar. It seems that her sweetheart edit is so fake that we should call her “Sweet n’ Low” rather than Sugar.”
DM: “We knew that many of our fans would fall for her cute face. We still tried to show that Sugar was a dumb player from the start. In the first episodes, we showed that no one wanted to have an alliance with Ace except her, putting a target on her own back. We showed her in exile saying that she wanted to join the stupid tribe, Fang, just so she could get back with Ace, not even considering she’d be much safer in Kota. Did viewers call her stupid? No, viewers were thinking: “Poor Sugar, she’s in danger… That mean Ace will throw her under the bus.”
We showed that Ace wanted to keep her to the merge and even until Final 4 but she stupidly voted him out of the game. Still, her fans said: “Good Move, Sugar!”
We saw Sugar, standing next to Kenny, telling Crystal: “Kenny lied to me about Ace.” Kenny replied: “I’m the glue that’s holding you together.” Sugar agreed, saying: “I know, I was just saying that you deserve to win this game and that all I wanted was to finish ahead of Crystal…”
UTVW: “Hummm… That last scene wasn’t shown. We heard Kenny saying he was the glue in a preview and Sugar said he deserved to win in an Insider clip but that wasn’t aired.”
DM: “Look, we had a cute scene of birds chirping in a tree.
We can’t put all the action on TV because then it would all make sense.”
UTVW: “One thing that doesn’t make sense is Exile Island. First of all, it isn’t even an Island this time. And, besides taking airtime away from camplife, it doesn’t even serve its original purpose anymore. Remember when players used to hate being sent to exile? Does this look like someone unhappy to be sent away?”
DM: “I only edit the final, crappy product. I’m not part of the dumbass team that puts it together.”
UTVM: “What about Susie? Here’s someone who is in excellent position yet we’ve seen very little of her. How can viewers relate to her?”
DM: “The problem with Snoozie is that she can’t stop yawning and every time she yawns she has to make a sound.”
“Another player we ignored a lot in the early game was the Maine Bobster. The problem with our Bobster was that three camera men quit during filming when they were assigned to him. The guy couldn’t stop telling the same story over and over and over again. Not showing Bob made Bob likeable!”
UTVW: “We had a star on this season: Crystal Cox, an Olympic gold medal winner. What did you think of her?”
DM: “Olympian, you say?”
She probably was angry that she had no sponsors
“It really makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Big Foot gave us some great material during tribal council but I’d like to record how she’ll explain her challenge performances to her fellow Olympians.
With the help of her little Nerd ally, she did put herself in a good position however. That has to be the weirdest combination of Brains and Muscle ever!!
Speaking of our Gamer, it’s strange that people see him as a mastermind. He had so much difficulty figuring out this little problem:
Round and Round you go…”
UTVW: “That leaves us with 2 characters that have played a big role this season: Matty and Corinne. How did you see them?”
DM: “DoorMat is a pushover. He really hasn’t applied any strategy but has gone with the flow, keeping his hands clean. You know, sometimes you can be walking in a minefield and get out of it unharmed.
“Corvine is a different type of bird. She sees so many flaws in everyone that it drives her crazy.”
Corvine croaking at her tribe mates.
UTVW: “OK. Now that we have done the opening credits, let’s see what happened on Thursday:”
Jeff came on the air saying: “Previously on Survivor, Marcus was so confident he was able to throw away an immunity idol…But the days of Kota dominance were coming to an end. By using brilliant strategy, a rival alliance, led by Kenny, has systematically dismantled their foes.”
“Stop the tape. What is Jeff trying to pull here? Last week he called that alliance “a quiet group of underdogs” when they are certainly not quiet and, now, he calls them brilliant when it really was a lame twist that gave them the game.”
DM: “For EPMB, there are no lame twists. Surprising the players, who think they know how to play HIS game, is what matters.”
Jeff went on: “They even tricked Randy into playing a fake idol… sending him home and humiliating him at the same time.”
Bob was seen in a new confessional: “It wasn’t just Ha! Ha! Ha! It went on and on and on. I was, to say the least, irritated.”
J: “Can Bob and Corinne come up with a brilliant strategy of their own? Seven are left, who will be voted out tonight?”
DM: “See, by letting Bob tell us what he thought about that Tribal Council, we’re telling the viewers that “Sweet n’ Sour” acted like a spoiled brat but I’m sure most still like her.”
Nobag Night 30:
The moon was full and the crocs were waiting near camp as the players returned from Tribal. “Sweet n’ Sour” was still laughing at her prank and the Gamer was telling her she was great.
(That’s the way desperate Nerds operate, thinking it will help them get the girl.)
The Bobster decided he’d had enough being treated like a substitute teacher: “Don’t laugh like that. That pisses me off. Don’t ever do that again.”
Sugar apologized to Bob but turned around as if talking to her classmates: “I don’t feel a bit sorry for Randy. He dug his own grave and the cool kids rule here.”
Remembering that Sugar had served her a lesson about being nice, Corvine took this opportunity to score points with the teacher: “You’re the one that told me not to belittle people, right?”
Having soured, Sugar answered: “You talk mean to people behind their backs and then you turn around and, to their face, you act like the sweet little girl with the bow on your head.”
Corvine said she was trying to play a good game, Sugar countered that she shouldn’t be playing games. Corvine said it was a game and Sugar replied: “Exactly, we’re playing the game.”
Huh?? I mean, you can think that Corvine is a mean person but you have to admit that speaking to “Sweet n’ Low” can be frustrating.
Corvine cawed, alone in her corner: “I am now in a camp of mutants, (Is the Eliza-alien back for a 3rd time? No, Crystal and Snoozie were the mutants that the camera showed this time.) none of whom I like. It’s difficult to pretend I’m nice. That’s not something I’m used to and that’s DONE.”
This week, the opening credits were reduced to showing the emblem of Survivor Gabon. Good thing we had our little recrap, isn’t it?!
Nobag, Day 31
The Maine Bobster was teaching the Geek how to fish. They caught some really nice ones.
The Geek was proud of himself: “I’m always in my parents’ basement. I didn’t even know there was a real world out there.”
The Nerd was beaming as everyone congratulated the fishermen but his mood changed when he noticed that most of the praises were meant for Bob.
As his “dulcinea” exclaimed: “I can’t believe how smart Bob is…Good job, Bob”, we saw the Gamer’s expression:
The Mastermind couldn't take it.
The Nerd went to sulk in his little boat: “Bob doesn’t look out for himself. He doesn’t know how to play this game at all. He’s just here to build things. That’s stupid, you know. He’s taught me a lot but as far as playing the game, he’s not very good at it. So, I don’t mind getting rid of Bob and I feel like pulling the powers into my own hands and taking charge.”
“DM, I see that you guys have nicely set up the drama for this episode: Sugar has Corvine in her sights but the Nerd is targeting Mr. Crowley and that should backfire on him. The votes should be between Corinne and Kenny and it will depend on whether the pin-up model feels sweet or sour, right?”
DM: “That would have been a good episode.”
DM: “You’ll see.”
The Challenge: Now or Never
”What kind of name is that for a challenge?”
DM: “I dunno.”
The castaways met Jeff who explained the challenge: They had to race in teams of 3 to retrieve puzzle pieces in a muddy swamp. Those puzzle pieces were sprockets wheels that, once assembled and activated, raised the team’s flag. The first team of 3 to raise the flag would move on to the second round where they’d compete against each other to solve a slide puzzle.
“This looks like another cheap attempt to show girls rolling in mud and letting one player out of the fun.”
DM: “We need ratings.”
Jeff asked if the players wanted to know what they were playing for and the players obliged by saying yes.
“I’d really like to see them say no one day!”
DM: “No one has done it since they threatened to stop playing in Borneo.”
“How many good casts have you had since Borneo?”
Jeff told them that 31 days without loved ones is long, that he wished he could say their loved ones where in Gabon but he had to do a sprint commercial instead. The winner would be getting a video message from home.
“See, if Survivor was sponsored by gnomes like the Amazing Race we’d have been told that the families flew in to Gabon by Travelocity and we would have been spared this cheesy set-up.”
DM: “Please, don’t rub it in.”
Crystal and Snoozie saw the videos from their husband and son, The Nerd only had his sister, Corvine had her whole family while Bob saw his wife, Peggy. Jeff commented that she was showing nice support. Bob said he was the luckiest man in the world. Next was DoorMat who saw his girlfriend Jaime and then Sugar saw her sister (who isn’t a pin-up model).
Jeff said that the winner would watch their whole video while enjoying pizza, beer and brownies.
Getting soft in his old age, Jeff said no one would be going to Exile Island.
Players picked rocks from a bag to determine the captains of each team. Crystal and Snoozie won and then Snoozie won the right to go first.
“Here’s an idea for you: Why weren’t the rocks numbered 1 and 2 to avoid that useless rock-paper-scissors showdown? Better yet, do like in the old days and have players scramble to be on a team.”
Snoozie will be racing with DoorMat and the Geek.
Crystal will be displaying her blazing speed with Sugar and Bob at her side.
(You should have seen Kenny’s face when Crystal picked the model instead of him!!!!)
Corvine was left alone on the bench where she spent many of her most meaningful scenes. However, she didn’t lead the cheers this time, as we heard her croak: “When Crystal immediately picked Sugar, I realized right away they were all about sticking together. I suck (maybe I misheard and she really said: “It sucks”) but I don’t want to go home. I just don’t know what to do to save myself.”
Crystal, Sugar and Bob were first out of the blocks until the model took a spill in the mud, revealing quickly blurred boobs.
If you guys know how to google, I’m sure you can ogle them somewhere.
We heard Kenny let out a cry of frustration as he was standing behind Sugar at the time and he missed the show. That probably was what motivated him to push his team ahead of “Sweet and Soggy” because the Gamer’s team was the first to finish the race.
That’s when Mr Crowley, the physics teacher, put the Gamer to shame. He led his team to the win while Kenny’s team still had no working pieces assembled.
As Jeff announced the winners, we heard Sugar telling Bob: ”Nice comeback.”
“When I hear something like that, I always wonder if it was just left in for the challenge or if it foreshadows something later on.”
DM: “You know I can’t answer that but I’ll say that we like to give you guys some hints.
Moving on to the sliding puzzle, it wasn’t difficult to figure out who would win that challenge between the Bobster, Miss Blazing Speed and Miss Muddy Boobs. Let’s just say that Miss Blazing Speed never got out of her blocks while Miss Muddy Boobs was left hanging.
Jeff didn’t give Bob a chance to make friends or enemies. He lamely sent everybody back to camp. That’s when we heard just how jealous the Gamer could be: “I really wanted to win that reward but Bob won. We think he’s a threat so, if he doesn’t win immunity, he’s next to go.”
The Afternoon Soaps
“You guys really like to play those violins, don’t you?”
DM: “Don’t you have a heart?”
“It’s usually my stomach that suffers. Ever since that uncomfortable scene with Colby and his mother, I fear this moment. On the other hand, it’s always nice to see someone get robbed of their moment.”
DM: “There isn’t a mother involved this time.”
“OK, but was seeing Rupert drool all over his wife any better?”
The scene opened with Bob opening a bottle of beer and settling down to listen to Peggy’s message. After a quick hello, Peggy told Bob she wanted to show him something and disappeared from the screen.
“Don’t tell me she’s about to do like Brian’s wife and come back on screen dressed for a sexy dance.
Peggy reappeared from behind a tree, surprising Bob with a kiss. It could have been a sappy romantic moment but Bob saved us when he told Peggy they had been eating termites.
(Thank you, Bob.)
Back in Nobag, (on day 31) the players were sitting around when suddenly they heard Bob whistling from atop the hill. They realized Peggy was with him so they rushed out to greet her. Once everyone had a hug, Bob turned and whistled once more, signalling for the rest of the loved ones to come down the hill.
T-Rex, using her blazing speed, was the first to find a cameraman to tell him just how much she was pleased to see Andre.
Corvine was happy to see somebody that understood her sense of humor, who gets her and loves her even if she is mean.
Entering camp, Peggy expressed the opinion of most viewers when she laughed at the Nobag name.
The Gamer was quick to tell his sister about his two alliances, one with Sugar and Big Foot who trusted him 100% because he saved both their asses. The other one was with DoorMat and Snoozie but he was ready to blindside DoorMat.
“So, what happened to the Gamer wanting to get rid of Bob? Didn’t you leave out a reason for the Geek’s change of plan?”
DM: “We showed you why he’s now targeting DoorMat. Didn’t you see Jaime?”
“Yes, she’s hot and, with all due respect to Bob who thinks he’s the luckiest guy in the world because of Peggy, I’d rather be with Jaime for a while!”
DM: “That’s why the Nerd changed his plan. Bob proving that Kenny’s not the most intelligent guy out there is one thing but seeing the clueless DoorMat with a girl he can’t have while he’s stuck with his sister, well that’s just too much for the Geek.
"This was like going to the prom with his sister which he probably did anyway."
The Mastermind went on: “I took out 5 big guys, everybody loves me and, if I make Final 3, I will win this game.”
“I remember hearing Judd saying the same thing at the Final 6 in Guatemala!! Judd and Kenny, that’s an odd comparison!”
Next, we had a touching scene with Sugar and her chubby sister, “Too Much Sugar”. She had brought some of their father’s ashes to Gabon. Sugar explained that she did Survivor to get a little bit of closure. The scene ended with Sugar saying: “Have fun in Africa Dad.”
We then saw DoorMat walking with Jaime over to the docks.
Matty said: “I’ve always been weak and I’ve avoided tough things like being an adult. That’s what I realized out here: I have to face my fears…”
He proposed to her, using the ring he had made for her.
Snoozie woke up to tell us that her husband was really proud of her.
As the loved ones left camp, DoorMat gave us the official title quote of the episode: “ The good things in life aren’t easy and they require a lot of work and digging deep. If you find it, it’s endless. You have so much abilities and gold in you and if you dig, you will find it.”
”Wasn’t that Nick’s exit speech in Panama?”
DM: “It was similar but we can use it in different ways.”
Nobag, day 33(??)
“You guys have really messed up with the calendar this year. That’s about the 3rd or 4th time you simply skipped a day!”
DM: “Some days are simply boring.”
“Are you sure that you are actually cutting out the boring ones?”
It was time for tree mail and the two outsiders, Bob and Corvine volunteered for the task. Along the way, Bob told Corvine: “Tonight would be the perfect time to blindside DoorMat.”
Back in camp, Sugar told everyone that Bob was good at everything.
(Everything? How does Sugar know that and what will Peggy think?)
DoorMat agreed: “He could take out our fivesome.”
In private, Sugar added: “The plan is to take out Bob and then Corvine. Bob is way bigger of a threat.”
Back near tree-mail, Bob was telling Corvine about the idol that was supposedly thrown out to sea. He said Marcus had kept it and, now, he had it, adding, “If I win immunity, I will give it to you.”
Corvine wanted to believe him but she had doubts: “Is that a legit idol?”
Bob answered: “No, but it sounded good, didn’t it?”
Bob explained his plan of making a second fake idol and telling someone from the other side he had it, making them worry about their vote.
Corvine pointed out that one of them had to win immunity.
The Immunity Challenge:
Q&A and Bombs Away.
Jeff said he was going to ask questions about Gabon. Each tribe member would receive one ball for each correct answer. They would then takes turns throwing their balls over a cliff toward a target divided by zones. The person who landed their ball closest to the center would win immunity.
Q1 : True or false, Gorillas were first discovered in Gabon.
I say false since Judd is in New-Jersey but it was true.
Corvine and Sugar earned a ball.
Q2 : What is a female elephant called?
Sugar, Corvine, Snoozie and Bob answered that they’d call her a cow.
(It’s not nice to call it that behind its back)
Q3 : True or False, the venimous African Viper is harmless to humans.
Sugar, Kenny, Matty, Big Foot and Bob earned a ball by saying it was false.
(Corvine said it was true but I think her definition of “human” is different.)
Q4 : True or False, the elephant’s trunk serves as its arm, its nose and its mouth.
Sugar, Corvine, Gamer, Doormat and Bob got it right.
During the throwing competition, DoorMat took an early lead, landing in the 4th zone from the center but Bob outdid him, hitting the 3rd zone.
It was all physics.
“Jeff commented that Kenny was in and then he was out, that Matty fell short, that Bob could afford to take a bit of a risk and that he will be very tough to beat. That sounded like foreshadowing to me!”
DM: “Jeff says a lot of things!”
As they left the challenge area, Bob said: “Winning immunity saved me. I will now build a fake idol and there are 5 Fang members here. I will suggest to two of them to come with Corvine and I. If all goes as planned, it will be the perfect time to blindside Matty.”
OK, now that’s the second time he mentioned blindsiding Matty. I let it pass the first time since I thought maybe Matty was going to win immunity, but now? Wasn’t the episode set-up for a decision between the Gamer and Corvine? If it’s between Corvine and Matty, we have a pretty good idea how it’s going to end because Matty didn’t get the usual build up.”
DM: “You noticed that didn’t you? Yes, we goofed again. We can’t make every Tribal Council look interesting.”
“How about just having some continuity in the episode?”
“That would mean paying attention to what the players do.”
Big Mistakes in Nobag
Corvine went over the story with the Bobster: “You give the immunity to me and we vote out the strongest player, DoorMat. If they think I will play the idol, they won’t vote for me.”
The teacher was impressed: “You are conniving!”
They shared a high-five as Corvine cawed: “I think I’m very smart and that Bob is very crafty. If we put these two forces together, it’s the best we can do. It would be so awesome if this worked.”
Back in camp, DoorMat was telling everyone how to spell C-O-R-I-N-N-E.
The Gamer was afraid that she could convince Bob to give her the immunity necklace.
(After all, he’d do it if only she smiled at him)
Sugar said it didn’t matter since they’d simply vote out Bob then.
DoorMat was worried: “We’re down to the final 6 and Bob’s still in it and Bob’s a major threat. It’s nerve-wracking, man.”
Corvine was sitting on the dock with the Nerd, telling him that, despite Bob winning immunity, she still had something up her sleeve.
The Gamer bit, especially when she told him the whole plan was to get out DoorMat.
The Gamer wanted to talk to Bob, thinking he’d have to jump alliances.
Returning with Bob, Corvine asked for Kenny’s input, saying he was just as smart as they were.
The Nerd said: “Matty isn’t that smart.”
Corvine asked him if he thought Crystal would flip.
The Geek said she might join them.
Corvine couldn’t believe her luck: “We’ve come up with this ridiculously air-brained scheme that shouldn’t work at all and it might actually work! It shows you the level of incompetence we’re playing with.”
The Arts & Craft Segment of the show featuring the very talented Mr Bob Crowley
Bob was busy working on his idol, probably using spare parts from the real one he had won. Showing us the final product, he said: “That looks like the original idol. I don’t know about you but that would fool me.”
Back to our regular program.
Bob told Crystal where his idol came from. He showed it to her and she was impressed.
Bob said: “Final 4, you, me, Kenny, Corvine because we don’t want to use this tonight. Would you be interested in taking out Matty tonight?”
Crystal was “cool with that.”
Bob shook Crystal’s hand while we heard his thoughts on the matter: “Operation fake Idol II is working like a charm and the interesting thing is; we’re not even going to have to use the idol.”
“That’s a good thing Bob because it’s a FAKE IDOL!
Unfortunately, both Bob and Corvine underestimated the level of incompetence of the Gamer and the Olympian. They were hatching a plan of their own to flush the idol and still get Matty out! The two were giggling like schoolgirls at the thought!
Not really thinking it out, the Geek told Crystal to vote Corvine while he would vote for Matty. The votes would be 4-3 against Corvine who would have to play her idol and Matty would go home.
Didn’t he realize that there were two major problems with this scheme?
- If Corvine thinks that there are 4 votes against Matty, why would she even play the idol?
- Why does Kenny think he has to vote Matty when a 5-2 vote would accomplish the same thing without showing his hand?
He certainly didn’t realize it because he told the viewers: “I know for a fact that Crystal will vote for Corvine and that Corvine will play her idol. It’s a win-win situation for me because the idol’s flushed out and Matty’s gonna be going home. If this plan works out, I’ll be the biggest strategist in Survivor history.
Yeah, well good luck with that!
Sitting in the hut, all 4 schemers reaffirmed their plan even if Crystal was having second thoughts: “If their idol is real, Matty’s going home but if they have a fake idol, Corvine is going home. I’ve been weighing who is better to take out and my heart tells me to take Matty out. Corvine isn’t a threat to me in any shape or form. This is my only chance to get him out and this is wrecking my brain. The mental part of this game is kicking my ass.”
So, we see that Crystal Cox can Outwit Crystal Cox!
The players sat down and Jeff said: “We will now bring in the members of our jury.”
I’m not sure if he made a mistake but instead of jurors, I saw what looked like the return of a 60’s pop group. It was “Charlie and the Pastels”!
Charlie, Markie and Ranky walked in
Remember, they used to sign:
Marcus is grea-ayay-ayeat!”
Lyrics by Charlie
Available on K-rap Records
This recording also include the smash hits:
“It’s Not Now or Ever”
“Blue Suede Sandals”
“Rock around the Sun Dial.”
Quantities Limited so Order now!
As they sat, Ranky gave a mean look to Sugar who just smiled.
Jeff asked Snoozie if the game was still being played along tribal lines or did she think she had a shot at winning.
Snoozie yawned and said that people were paranoid.
Jeff asked Mr Crowley if he was paranoid. (Jeff might be an Ozzy Osbourne fan!)
Bob answered that wearing the immunity necklace meant he wasn’t paranoid.
(You could read Bob’s thoughts: “Ask me next time, stupid.”)
Corvine said that paranoia might help break up that group of 5.
That caught DoorMat’s attention while Snoozie yawned and the Gamer observed.
Sugar was asked how paranoia affected her game.
Sugar answered: “Do I have a game? I’m worried people will freak out, be gullible and get duped like I was.”
Crystal said it was crazy to trust certain people and that the game was about knowing when to trust and when to cut your ties.
DoorMat caught the meaning behind that.
The Gamer said that after this vote, people will be asking who did this and who did that?
No Kenny, people will know what you did.
It was time to vote and we were shown Kenny’s big block letter vote for MATTY.
Matty’s vote for Corinne was also shown.
When Jeff asked if anyone wanted to play the hidden immunity idol, the camera showed Kenny nodding to Corinne, silently telling her to play that idol.
The Pastels were praying for a surprise.
Corinne didn’t move.
Kenny finally realized that there was a flaw in his plan.
Matty showed his relief.
The first vote was the big block lettered MATTY and we saw the pained expression of its author.
It was followed by 3 straight Corinne votes.
The next two votes against Matty made him blink but then the final vote saved him.
Jeff revealed that the final vote was for Corinne.
Cirie, Todd, Yul, and the rest of the strategists realized they wouldn’t have to worry about the Gamer joining their ranks! He hung himself out to dry and looked about as smart as Rita voting against Earl.
As Corinne got up to pick up her torch, we saw Kenny already doing damage control by putting his hand on Matty’s shoulder and smiling, as if congratulating him.
The “Pastel Brothers” were heartbroken (which will be the title song of their next album)
Crystal just then realized that her plan didn’t work out too well either.
Was it another editing decision or did Corinne really walk out of there quietly? She had promised to turn around and say she was happy not to have to put up with these nasty people anymore. Wait… where did DM go? He left? I wouldn’t want to show my face after putting up such a crappy episode.
Corinne gave her final words: “I can’t stand Sugar. I’ll never be able to stand Sugar… You know, I really just don’t like any of those people other than Bob and Kenny. I really, really wish Bob and Kenny all the best and I hope the rest of them have miserable lives.”
Then she gave a big smile for the camera!
Next time in Gabon: Kenny is angry that Bob messed up his game.
Bob promises him to give him the immunity that he will surely win (or make)
Sugar realizes that Kenny his full of lies and that Crystal is just a big bully.
Snoozie will yawn.
Thank you for reading.