Official Summary Survivor Gabon #5: Listen, Horton, I've gotta go. Apparently there's a problem with a giant meatball
Survivor Medic: Well I'm afraid there is nothing we can do
EPMB: What do you mean there is nothing we can do?
Survivor Medic: The exposure has been too great for too long, I'm afraid there will be no improvement in his condition.
EPMB: So what does this mean?
Survivor Medic: Permanent, non-ending snarkiness.
EPMB: So Jeff's going to be this way forever?
Survivor Medic: That's the prognosis.
EPMB: I can live with that.
Survivor Medic: He's just saying out loud what we've all been thinking.
EPMB: Roll tape
Jeff: Previously on Survivor. Eighteen castaways were cut off from the world by miles of empty savanna and endless jungles filled with wild creatures, but the fiercest predator here in Gabon was the yellow tribe...
Jeff: What's the problem?
EPMB: The tribe has a name!
Jeff: These tribes don't deserve names.
EPMB: Well you have a point, roll tape.
Jeff: who systematically devoured the weak and struggling red tribe, Phong.
EPMB: Cut, are ever going to pronounce that right?
Jeff: Fong, Wrong, Thong, Phong, what's the diff?
EPMB: Roll tape
Jeff: On day 10 a tribe swap gave Thong the opportunity to improve themselves, but they continued to be their own worst enemy by foolishly picking weak players over strong ones. At the end of the tribe swap Sugar, a pinup model, wasn't chosen and was sent on her second trip to Exile Island. At the immunity challenge phormer Phong member Randy, the wedding videographer, made every point in a three nothing blow out of his former tribe By day twelve Phong had hit an all time low, and faced with a choice to vote out a strong member Jacquie, or a weak one Kelly, they acted as though they had a death wish and weakened their tribe yet again. And Ace lost one of his closest allies. 14 are left who will be voted out tonight.
EPMB: That's a wrap!
Night 12 at NuFang Camp. They get some fire started and decide to make some rice since they assume Sugar hasn't eaten in three days. Unaccented Ace confesses that tribal didn't pan out the way he wanted so he is high and dry. Maybe now his is weak he'll be able to pull off a “Coup de grâce” with Sugar. He figures her immunity idol is going to help. Sugar hoped to see Jacquie and Ace when she was going to Fang and then hoped the darkness covered her disappointment when she learned Kelly was still there. She tells them that she went for the comfort of the Sugar Shack as the idol was just too hard to find. /Crystal doesn't buy that Sugar just didn't bother to look for the idol this time as she's been out there too much, and she wants to get rid of her.
In order to make sure we really don't recognize those voted out early at the reunion show they are removed from the opening credits when their torch is snuffed.
Hippo sighting. Remember they only look stupid and slow, but they are one of the most dangerous animals in Africa. As day 13 dawns at NuKota they have caught a bunch of fish in the net, one of them is electrified. So they play will it really shock anyone who touches it, because you know learning from the mistakes of others is not something they cast for when they recruit for this show. Randy is very happy to be on NuKota, and while he is sure that in the unlikely event of
water landing them having to vote someone out he can adapt.
Back at NuFang we hear trumpeting. Matty spots the elephant and gathers everyone to go see it. Ace regains his accent while saying how beautiful the elephant is. They are all amazed to see it so close. The elephant responds by showing off it's tree destroying ability. Matty and Ace decide the appropriate response to an elephant that seem to be unhappy that humans have dared to invade its territory is to get the
”kayak” canoe and go for a closer look. GC says to leave the elephant alone because that is how people get hurt. Matty says his elephant encounter made him “step out of the game” and appreciate life and the pure things.
They gather for the reward challenge. NuKota is surprised NuFang voted out Jacquie but decide that talking about it in front of NuFang isn't the time or place to do that. Jeff will have none of that so asks NuKota about their reaction. For today's challenge start with a large pile of fruit. Toss the fruit to tribe members through the holes in two wooden archways while members of the other tribe use wooden clubs to whack-a-fruit out of the air. If the fruit hits the ground it cannot be picked up. The fruit will be weighed at the end and the tribe with the most fruit wins reward. They are playing for an herb garden, salt, oil, and chili sauce. Additionally they get to keep whatever fruit they catch.
NuFang Defense. Chrystal and Ace. NuKota Defense Bob and Charlie. NuFang is first on the board. NuKota having problems getting by Ace. Matty getting fruit past Charlie with a fake out move. NuKota decides tossing two fruits at a time will get some past Ace, and finally get a banana through. NuFang getting a lot of small pieces of fruit through. Randy is doing almost all the catching at the basket for NuKota. Ace goes up for a block of a pineapple and watermelon half and makes the block, with his face. NuFang gets a pineapple through right at the last moment. NuFang got 16 pounds of fruit in their basket. NuKota at 15 pounds with two pineapples left to go. The pineapples bring them up to 18 pounds so they win.
NuKota sends Sugar back to Exile “Island” again. Jeff asks Dan why. Dan says it's for the comedy. No really we think if she finds it she'll have to play it before the merge and they want it back in circulation at that time. Jeff hands her the map she doesn't need and figures she could show him the way. She will be back for the next Immunity Challenge.
NuKota returns with their loot and notes that the rich are getting richer. Dan says instead of the Axis of Evil the other tribe is now the Evil Empire and they all need to stick together after the merge. Marcus agrees that the next immunity challenge is important but says in confessional that Dan's over the top statements about his undying allegiance to the NuKota tribe are too much and no one believes him. Susie, on the other hand, is so quiet they don't know if she is on board with anything. While the rest eat fruit Randy does his best hippo imitation in the water. Randy says his plan is to keep winning challenges and be Kota Yellow until the end.
Out at the Exile location Sugar dances her way to the Sugar Shack. There is more fruit out there than last time and Sugar is fat and happy to be there. Back and NuFang they are eating rice, and once again GC is a grown man and doesn't need to be told to do nothing. GC says it is way more difficult out there than he expected. Not only are there challenges but these darn people you gotta be bothered with. There is a discussion of what is wrong with GC and non accented Ace finds the argument and discussion brilliant because it is seam cracking. GC thinks the game is changing him and not in a good way, he's gotta get back to real life.
Day 15 at NuFang. TreemailTHE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION,
IS THAT YOU REALLY NEED TO SCORE.
AT LEAST PREVENT THE OTHER TRIBE
OR TONIGHT YOU'LL LOVE ONE MORE
It comes with a hollow ball of twigs, and they think maybe they'll be inside the ball. They say they need to be ready to leave soon, and Matty is noticing how much some people are falling apart. GC prepares to leave soon by going down to the dock and untying the canoe and paddling off. They get ready to leave and notice they can't find GC so they start calling for him. They hope he gets back in time, but he doesn't like being told what to do so they think they'll have to just leave without him. Ace and Crystal are not going to use up any energy screaming for GC. GC finally heads back and they tell him they would have left without him and he says that would have been cool with him.
Oh how I wish he hadn't returned. I really wanted to see Jeff do the double take when he didn't show up and his tribe didn't care.
They gather for the Immunity Challenge, Sugar returns and Jeff collects the Immunity Idol from Dan. One member of the tribe will
drop a Plinko Chip down the board roll a much larger version of the twig ball down a hill with obstacles planted on it. A blindfolded member of the opposite team will try to stop the ball with a shield and a caller. If the ball gets past them it will go into a goal with various assigned amounts of points. Tribe with the most points at the end of five rounds wins Immunity. The defender for NuFang is Ace, Sugar is his caller. The defender for NuKota is Dan and Randy is his caller.
Charlie and Matty are the throwers. Both balls get through. You can't really hear Sugar calling over Randy NuKota scores 2, NuFang scores 5. Ace has to remind Sugar to come get him and lead him back to the starting point.
Susie and GC are the throwers. Dan stops the ball, and NuKota scores 2 more points. Ace tries to explain to Sugar that she needs to talk.
NuKota 4, NuFang 5
Marcus and Kelly are the throwers. Dan stops his own team's ball and NuFang scores 2 more points
NuKota 4, NuFang 7
Corrine and Chrystal are the throwers. Dan blocks the correct ball this time and NuKota scores 2 more points. Ace is down, he caught a shield in the face.
NuKota 6 , NuFang 7.
Bob and Kenny are the throwers. Dan blocks the correct ball. Randy calls out to Ace to freeze, and he does. NuKota scores 2 more points.
NuKota 8, NuFang 7.
NuKota wins immunity.
Over a the NuFang tribe no one is looking forward to tribal according to GC. GC starts campaigning to be voted out with Matty. Matty goes to Chrystal and she isn't about to kiss his butt to get him to stay. She has no respect for losers that keep quitting. It goes around the camp that he wants to go out. Accented Ace is getting pleasure watching all this go down, and is telling Sugar he gets to decide when she uses the idol. Sugar left it in her bag but is certain no one thinks she has it so no one would bother to look in her bag. Meanwhile, back in the shelter with her bag Matty and Crystal wonder if she does have the idol and while the others keep a look out she searches the bag and finds the idol. Kelly was sure she had it from the first trip to Exile Pond. They decide tonight is the only night to blindside her. No one wants to keep GC, says Ken, but they also don't want Sugar in the game with the idol.
Jeff: Let's talk about the wear and tear. Ace, you keep using your face to stop things, so are there any other impacts from being out here for 15 days.
Unaccented Ace: People are running out of belt loops and once the clothes completely fall off the blur team is going to be exhausted.
Jeff. GC, did Ace just call you a belt loop?
GC. Yep and then you start to wonder what is important to you. Is it staying here with the belt loop accusers or going home.
Jeff: Sugar, have you heard GC talking about home?
Sugar: Which one's GC, I've been at Exile the whole time but my puppet master Ace says he wants to go soon.
Jeff: GC, so you've talked about going home.
GC: My life has been so hard and I've suffered so much and I'm done with suffering.
Jeff: and Sugar, right on cue you are crying
Sugar: We all miss home and everything. No one likes all the turning on people going on out here. It is harder on the psyche then physically.
Jeff: Matty, so tough to hear about someone trying to quit?
Matty: What is this quitting of which you speak?
Jeff: Sugar, so even the crew has started calling Exile “Island” the Sugar Shack.
Sugar: Again, Jeff. Who are these people? Maybe they will send me home, so I brought my bag.
Jeff: Kenny, is it frustrating they keep sending Sugar to Exile. Remember there is a hidden Immunity Idol out there.
Kenny: Well we do wonder from time to time if she found it, but nobody knows.
Jeff: Sugar, so what kind of strategy do you have given they all think you might have it?
Sugar: Honestly Jeff these people won't even ask me if I have it.
Jeff: Does that strike you as odd?
Sugar: Well since they let other people go through your bag it isn't that odd.
Jeff: So you think your bag has been gone through?
Sugar: I dunno.
Jeff: Do you keep it with you?
Sugar: No I make sure it is where anyone can go through it anytime they want.
Jeff: Chrystal, is she crazy, or crazy-smart to leave it out?
Chrystal: I'll take Crazy for $200 Jeff.
Jeff: What is Sugar doesn't care if people know?
Sugar: Well if people know you have it, then they are afraid you might vote them out by using it.
Jeff: On that note, it is time to vote
Sugar is up first and votes for G. Sizz. (with Love XOXO) because he wants to go. GC is voting for Kelly because he has to vote for someone. Jeff tallies the votes, says now is the time to play the idol. No one does.
Fifth person voted out of Survivor Gabon is GC. You guys have endured a lot and you have to dig deep if you are going to last in this game.
Next Week on Survivor Gabon: Ace is looking for his Benedict Arnold. Matty makes a pact with Ace. Ace and Sugar discuss her giving the idol to him. Accented Ace (with elephant in the background) says this is going to be the start of a great run, he has complete supremacy.
GC's final words: For all those people that say I quit or something call it what you want, but I didn't agree with the lying and backstabbing. I never expected it to be this hard and the vote for Kelly was a throw away vote because I connected with her the least. I got respect or something for anyone who makes it, tries out, or walks in my shoes after I wore them out here for 15 days in a row.
Sigs by AgGhoul