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"S17 Gufu Award: Week 1"
byoffer 13836 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-26-08, 08:43 AM (EST)
 
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"S17 Gufu Award: Week 1" |
This post is officially a memorial to Dabo. Er, Dabo's computer. Come back soon Woodstock!Double episode this week, and so much to pick on. How about three (3) Contestant Gufus, and two (2) Production Gufus. Mine:
Contestant Gufu #1 - All the contestants. How many times do they have to fall for the "Game starts with what you are wearing" trap before these idiots learn to dress for the competition when you get on the plane and NEVER TAKE THOSE CLOTHES OFF. Contestant #2 - Michelle. This game is 90% social, and she starts hating her tribe on day 1 and calling them all idiots? Why bother taking all those immunization shots and making the trip? Contestant #3 - Hard to pick someone on the winning tribe, but I will go with Charlie. Dude, relax, it is (hopefully) a long season. And horning so hard on the straight guy can't be good for the long term. Production #1 - I was really hoping the double episode was to get to know more of the competitors. I still feel like there are a couple we haven't met. Hopefully with Gillian and her mouth gone there will be more time for the others to get involved. Production #2 - I don't like the playground pick'em to assign the tribes. We have seen from past seasons that this can lead to very bad tribes and bad challenges. At least Dung Fang voted out two weaker competitors so hopefully they will become a stronger tribe. Okay, your turn.  
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Max Headroom 8185 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-26-08, 09:00 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: S17 Gufu Award: Week 1" |
Since dabo's not around to enforce the rules, I'm bending them.  Contestant #1: Gillian, for making a terrible first pick at the schoolyard. Had she ever watched the show before? After 17 Survivor seasons, she should know to pick a strong male competitor. Contestant #2: Gillian, for being a useless tub of lard in challenges. I give her begrudging credit for admitting it, though. Contestant #3: Michelle, for having such an obvious, outwardly-visible bad attitude. Why did you bother coming at all? Hint: It wasn't for giving us the season's first blur. Contestant #4: Dan, for expecting to find the hidden II after one clue and getting so upset when he didn't. Did he really think EPMB would give it to him on a silver platter? Contestant #5: GC, for being so disagreeable. Even on his loser tribe, it's still likely to come back to haunt him. 
Headbanger by IceCat, siggie by agman
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Estee 44384 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-26-08, 09:15 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: S17 Gufu Award: Week 1" |
LAST EDITED ON 09-26-08 AT 09:45 AM (EST)Contestant #1: I kept waiting for Dan to try swimming in a circle as fast as he could to make a little whirlpool and create a crater in the water. After all, if he couldn't figure out 'across', he could try anything. (I think the tie is a parasite. I think it lives off his brain cells. It'll die soon for lack of nourishment.) Contestant #2: A collective placement for most of Fang and their 'always give up, always surrender!' strategy during the dig. If you can't at least fake trying, then you have no right to be in this game. Throwing individual challenges can be a strategy: throwing tribal ones requires someone you need to get rid of for sanity -- and you didn't have anyone yet. Which means that your little lie-back-and-deliver festival wasn't cunning, and it wasn't tactics: it was a pure quit. Until further notice, you are Ravulong. We will all be waiting very patiently for the last of you to die. Contestant #3: 'Vote him off! He smells like idol!' Yes, they dumped the weak link in the end, but to be so terrified of what's been a completely ineffective tool that you'd give that much time to lining up your next loss... For this part -- well, someone else will probably tackle the casting -- lots and lots of someone elses -- so I think I'll stick to design issues. Production #1: The Tribal Council set. Voting privacy has been dropping over the last few seasons, starting with being able to get a glimpse of the contestant area from the standard camera angle and slowly working up to last night, where Ken could drop his pen and GC would hand it back. What's the distance between voting desk and waiting zone -- fifteen feet, maximum? You need to be isolated when you vote. The contestants should be free to speak their minds without worrying about being overheard, much less have to be concerned if anyone behind them can figure out their vote from the elbow movements when they write. (Maybe that's how we're cuing the idol this season.) Give the players their privacy back because if this gets any worse, Jeff is going to make the next tribe crawl under a bench to write, then charade out their comments in front of the group. Production #2: Too much -- and too little -- of a jump start on the shelters. It was basically an extra puzzle: can you take the parts from three to make one? I understand that given the setting, you might want them to have some protection on Day One -- but at the same time, what they've got still amounts to nothing whatsoever if anything large and hungry wanted to come visiting. Given that, you could have given them full-fledged huts or nothing at all, and the only bit of difference it would have made was in the time devoted to construction shots. Sure, we learned Bob is useful -- but the challenges told us that anyway, and you would have gotten the bench-building regardless. In the end, all the skeletal frames gave you was a chance to see people not work as a team. And we had enough of that in those two hours to last a season.
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Estee 44384 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-26-08, 09:56 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: S17 Gufu Award: Week 1" |
But then Dan would have tried to dig out a crater in the lake water and use it as a basement.
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Brownroach 12742 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-26-08, 06:12 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: S17 Gufu Award: Week 1" |
LAST EDITED ON 09-29-08 AT 03:55 PM (EST)How many times do they have to fall for the "Game starts with what you are wearing" trap before these idiots learn to dress for the competition when you get on the plane and NEVER TAKE THOSE CLOTHES OFF. True, byoffer, but we've found out in the past that production selects their clothing -- I expect the contestants were told what to wear at the beginning and couldn't say no (and why else would you even bring a suit and tie with you?) ETA: Michelle said in her RTVW interview that "I didn't get to choose what I wore." Contestant Gufu #1 - Gillian, for consistently saying stuff that no one wanted to hear and being oblivious to that fact. She was lucky Michelle's bad attitude saved her from getting booted first. Contestant Gufu #2 - the whole Thong tribe re the "leadership" issue. They all sat there, glumly refusing to volunteer, when it was clear to every one of them that *someone* had to get the tribe organized and motivated. Deena didn't want a leader role in Amazon, but she took responsibility and the tribe worked much more efficiently and was happier for it. And it didn't get her voted out. Tom Westman mostly directed things at the Koror camp and he won the game. Contestant Gufu #3 - Dan, for apparently not knowing what a crater is, what "across the lake" means, and what to say when he got back to camp. Production Gufu -- making them do the schoolyard pick yet again.  Surfkitten Summer Sigshop 2008
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mattben 1265 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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09-26-08, 07:18 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: S17 Gufu Award: Week 1" |
Contestant #1: Gillian, for thinking that being the talkative know-it all cheerleader type would 1) distract from her complete lack of physical capabilities, and 2) constitute some sort of helpful leadership to distract from her complete lack of actually doing anything except play with elephant poop. Contestant #2: Dan, for not knowing his analytic from his elbow. The "across the lake" and "sandy crater" clue was almost idiot-proof, but Burnett managed to find one big enough. Maybe he was looking for a submerged meteor impact. He's the lawyer who's now looking to "find himself." Keep searching, Dan. God forbid he think up some story or plan re the HII for his return to the tribe. Contestant #3: The entire deFanged tribe for pooping out so egregiously in the challenges. (Well, the ball-rolling thing was kinda close.) Each of them were waiting around for other people to do something, anything, whether it was digging, climbing, helping each other (except for the one (Dan or Ken?) who helped push Gillian's and Crystal's lard-arses up the hill in the first run). On the plus side, they did dump the two biggest annoyers/dead weights: 1) whiny bitchy Michelle, who wasted no time moaning about enduring a chilly night outdoors, and dissing her lame tribemates, though her athleticism might have been useful, and 2) ineffective Gillian, whose nursing skills consist of shouting "Medic!" and team-building skills fell on passive-resistant ears. Production #1: Yet another no hunting/no gathering habitat. Well, I guess hunting fish and grubs is OK. We're gonna have to suffer through food reward after food reward. Production #2: A TC twofer: Lack of voting privacy on Tribal Council set. Lack of tribal privacy what with Jeffy forcing his ideas on how he wants them to play the game after he's watched the daily rushes. 
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Sunny_Bunny 5430 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-27-08, 02:07 AM (EST)
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9. "RE: S17 Gufu Award: Week 1" |
LAST EDITED ON 09-29-08 AT 11:15 PM (EST)Contestant GUFU #1: The Rong Tribe, or is it Thong? Wait, maybe its Fang or Pang. Oh heck, who cares? Anyway, lets get 8 "individuals" together and watch as most of the members suddenly lose interest in the immunity challenge to the point where they lose their lead, dignity, and any hope of any of them making it to the merge. You were tired? On the Third Day?! It was DIGGING for cripes sake, and you were sitting down! Contestant GUFU #2: Dan. Dan the sham. Oh give me a frigging break! Instead of "finding yourself" you should find a Websters Dictionary. You don't know what a crater is? You can't figure out what "across" means? And lets examine you emptying your bag, exclaiming that you have no idol so they can't vote you off. Oh yeah, I want you defending me in court someday. Contestant #3: Gillian. I loved your final words -- "I should have stayed UTR" Stayed?! When the hell were you EVER UTR?
Your plan to be the mom backfired for 2 reasons: 1. Most of the contestants are young enough that one allure of this game is the fact that they can finally get away from their mothers. For them, the million is just a perk. 2. If you are going to be a mother figure, then be the kind nurturing type. You know, the type that would have at least looked at Videographer's head wound, and told him that he was not going to die from infection. Do NOT be the pushy, bossy, cheerleader/coach type. You know, the kind that tells VG guy that he should really be careful in the dark so he wouldn't get a head injury that could get infected and kill him. That gets old really quickly. Honorable Mention to Charlie who proclaimed that the group "was like one mind working as one." Quote. of. the. week. baby! Production #1: Would it kill you idiots to actually show the tribes so we could get to know them and remember their names? I mean really, you had two flipping hours, and we still know nothing about these people. Production #2: Mr. Probst, I appreciate that you are now an Emmy winner. I don't appreciate that you are now running the game from TC. Nice way to force the tribe to paint a bullzeye on the back of poor schmuck GC. And isn't it nice that after 12 games, the only thing anyone seems to have learned is "If it leads, it bleeds." 
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djandy 1498 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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09-27-08, 11:12 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: S17 Gufu Award: Week 1" |
Contestant Gufu #1: Gillian picks Crystal.Contestant Gufu #2: Crystal picks Susie. Contestant Gufu #3: Dan's II search. Production Gufu #1: Dividing the teams up with a school yard pick-'em. Production Gufu #2: Having the voting booth so close to the contestants -- they tend to clam up or whisper when voting, so you lose a lot of the venting and snark. 
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PsychoKitty 590 desperate attention whore postings
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09-27-08, 10:08 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: S17 Gufu Award: Week 1" |
Well, I'll start with the casting gufu's  #1) Who's bright idea is Crystal? My Gawd, she can't even run up a hill?!!! At first I thought it was more of her UTR approach, but later she said it was too hard for her. Oh my Gawd!!!!! #2) So much of the cast seems apathetic or just plain pathetic. Weak, silly, not vital participating people like some have been in the past. The exception is Bob - he's just great. Even the villians are dull!!! The much advertised Corinne, and Randy, bleah! #3) Poor Ken! Why cast this sweet guy? The road to total humiliation, admitting on national (INTERNATIONAL!) tv that he has only kissed one girl, barely, back in high school 5 years ago. Oh man. . . he is very sweet and deserves his own girl, but how embarrassing. Maybe they cast him for just his "dorky" qualities, or maybe he's an actor. The way he kept tripping and dropping things just underscored the whole "schtick" of his being cast as the nerd. Oh, excuse me. . . strategic gamer! I will stop here, but anyone else is welcome to pick up where I left off! 
Not that I have an opinion one way or another ;)
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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings
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09-30-08, 09:22 AM (EST)
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16. "RE: S17 Gufu Award: Week 1" |
Contestant Gufu #1 - Gillian, for picking Crystal. Yes, she's a former Olympic sprinter. No, you didn't know that. And no, you didn't pick someone who's going to be worth a damn in a few episodes.Contestant Gufu #2 - Crystal, for picking Susie. Say wut? Were you trying to duplicate the Katie pick with this? Yes, it worked out for Koror, but only because their competition was the most incompetent tribe in the history of incompetence. You're up against some semblance of workability. Picking weaklings doesn't work. Contestant Gufu #3 - Michelle's mopey attitude. At least give the appearance of toughing it out rather than calling your tribe idiots. Work hard, stay tough, and give them a reason to keep you rather than being a social outcast. See Jones, Jolanda, as well as Sccher, Tina, and while we're at it, Ellis, Hunter, for examples of strong players who were booted for being social dimwits. Production Gufu #1 - can you twits think of any way to assign tribes other than...hmm, let's see, the alphabet strategy in season 1, schoolyard pick in seasons 5, 10, sorta 14, and now 17, or the multitude of other ways they've assigned them? Why not have them...hmm, do something a bit creative other htan the twist that bombed in Thailand? What was that about the definition of insanity? Production Gufu #2 - OK, yes, they're in the middle of flipping Africa. The rice, corn, beans, and the fire on day 3 are necessities. But shelter? An effing shelter? Why not just give them private jets to challenges and serve steak and lobster to the reward winners? Oh, and although I'm out of Production Gufus, I have this to say - I effing hate Exile Island. It isn't even an island. Why not clal it Exile Peninsula or Exile Grassland? Last season was Exil Archipelago. This time is Exile Crater. Jesus H. Christ, get a new twist.
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